


A game of hide and seek

by pinkvinyls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Angst, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Organized Crime, Panic Attacks, References to Drugs, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvinyls/pseuds/pinkvinyls
Summary: Everyone and their mother knows about Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Negotiator. The one man who succeeded at taking control over the city, ensnaring both the underworld and the political sphere. Known for being able to broker any deal, for being able to convince any opponent to join his side, he is a living legend. Everyone knows about him, few know him and even fewer are allowed to remain at his side.Anakin Skywalker has heard his own share of rumours about him and he is hellbent on becoming the one who stands closest to the living legend, to become his most trusted man with only one objective in mind, to betray him and receive what he has always wanted, freedom.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 51
Kudos: 144





	1. Ashore

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got around to writing for this wip and I'm quite excited.
> 
> Feedback would be lovely :)
> 
> Enjoy!

##  _ Present _

_ The street lights were blurry stars in the night sky and the fast passing cars formed a never ending stream of colour as Anakin ran on the wide sidewalk. He ran and ran with his lungs burning and his legs aching but he couldn’t stop, not for anything. He had to keep moving as fast as he could. No matter how much he hurt, no matter how hard it was to breathe, he could not stop.  _

_ If he stopped, he would have to find a place. A place where he could stay and hide. But right now there was no such thing left for him. His apartment, the studio or the warehouses. They were all out of the question and none of his usual safehouses were secret anymore. Nothing was safe now. And if he kept moving and never stayed at one place, there was no way for him to be found.  _

_ Anakin knew that he was running on low energy now. He would not be able to keep this up any longer, but he just didn’t know where to go. It was infuriating and made Anakin want to scream and shout in frustration. So he grit his teeth and forced his body that wanted nothing but a break to keep up its movement. It would be harder to resume to running, if he stopped and exhaustion hit him with full force.  _

_ What should he do? What could he even do? He was unable to find an answer, a solution. He had nothing on him, no ID, no money, no phone, nothing. There was no one left to call anyway, no one he could ask for help, not after what he had done, after what had been revealed. Oh, god, he was so stupid. Why did he run away? Why? Now he was stuck somewhere in the city, penniless and alone, unable to ever return after fleeing like a coward.  _

_ Anakin stopped and bent over, the burning in his lungs and throat was so intense that he couldn’t take in any air at all, it was as if he had swallowed liquid fire. He desperately tried to calm his rapid attempts to breathe, but it was so hard to calm down when you could hear your own blood rushing through your veins and feel the the thrum of your own heartbeat on every fiber of your body. He was hyper-aware of everything, of the pain, of the fear, of his despair.  _

_ Anakin fell down to his knees and pulled at his own hair. He sagged forward then and his head hit the hard asphalt of the pavement. The pain didn’t fully register to him at first. All his attention was paid to his inability to properly breathe. Anakin was hyperventilating. He was going to die if he kept this up. He was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die. Fuck. No, no, no. This couldn't happen. Calm down. Calm the fuck down. You can’t fucking die, not like this, not here, not now! _

_ Again and again, he hit his head with his own fists, trying to bring some fucking sense in there, but it didn’t help, it didn’t do anything. He just had to find out a way to calm down.  _

_ Anakin forced himself up to his knees and leaned on them with his hands, arms shaking under the weight of his upper body. He tried to slowly inhale and exhale, counting each time he succeeded. It didn’t work at first but then, torturously slow, he was finally able to breathe at a somewhat normal rate. He threw his head back and looked up to the sky, still focusing on taking controlled breaths. As he started to regain himself bit by bit, watching the few stars that he could make out in the night sky of the city, tears streamed down his cheeks. He pursed his quivering lips and tried to stifle the sobs, to stop them from breaking out but eventually failed.  _

_ Anakin bent over again and buried his face in his hands to drown out the sounds of his sobs. He bit his lower lip in anger and frustration at himself for being so weak and pathetic. He had to stop, man up and get a grip of himself, so Anakin forced himself to focus on the anger and tried to push the stifling fear and grief that still remained out of his body. The anger bubbled up inside him and intensified. It became bitter spite and he clung to that feeling like the only lifeline left to him. This spite he felt for himself, this self-hatred for all of his failures, it pushed him on, it drove to finish what he had started, what he had let happen for too long, it had to end now.  _

_ He stood up, straightened his back and furiously wiped the tears on his face away with the back of his hand. In this moment of clarity, with no other reprieve available, realization struck him, merciless in its brutality. She had been lost to him from the very beginning, there was no hope anymore, no way to fool himself any longer. Everything had come to an end. _

_ How far had he fallen? Where had all his bravado gone to? The moment he had felt on top of it all had been the beginning of his demise. But he had never been on top, had he? No, he had always been nothing but a fool, a weakling unable to protect anything dear to him. He knew only violence and pain and now his hands were once again sullied with blood.  _

* * *

##  1 year ago

The first thing that greeted him when Anakin entered the bar was the heady scent of smoke and liquor, so intense that he had to wrinkle his nose as he slowly grew used to it. Few people were present, even for a Tuesday night, standing in small groups around high tables, immersed in conversation, music playing quietly in the background, inoffensive and generic. His gaze wandered over the wide room, searching and finding what he had come here for at the bar counter. He moved over there and chose the second chair, close enough to get attention, but not pushy enough to irritate. The man to his right was clearly someone important. The fine quality and cut of his tailored black suit as well as the expansive and wide watch on his arm betrayed his high status, he wore it with such self-assurance and confidence that Anakin couldn't imagine him in anything else. He had yet to see the man’s face, the only tell to his identity was his auburn blond hair, fine and silky in the warm light of the counter. 

The man ordered his next drink, raising his fine-boned and pale hand with unwarranted grace, and the bartender immediately rushed over to him to fulfill his request, ignoring his own hand that he was first to raise. Anakin snorted in amusement and the man’s face was at last revealed, head turned to face him. He looked at that face and thought that he could finally understand a smidgen of his boss’ obsession. It was a handsome one after all, accentuated by a well kept beard and eyes so blue they shone in the low lighting of the bar, even the lines around his eyes and mouth that showed his older age looked good on him. A slow exhale passed Anakin’s lips, struck in awe by this stranger. 

"Give him the same as mine," the man spoke and revealed his posh accent, his voice was deep and strangely calming, it was at the very least a very distinct one, it left him wanting to hear even more. 

Anakin accepted the drink and nodded at the man in thanks, bringing the glass to his lips to have a taste, the hard liquor burned its way down his throat and he couldn’t help but grimace at the bitterness of it. 

“Not a fan of scotch?” the man asked with a small smile on his lips, one brow raised as he looked him up and down. 

“Not a fan of any hard alcohol,” Anakin replied, rotating the glass between his fingers. “But it does its job well.”

“So you admit to being a lightweight?” He turned around on his chair and fully faced him with his body now, legs obscenely widespread, his penetrating gaze betraying his interest. “I appreciate an honest man.”

Anakin lowered his head slightly and stared into his drink, a smile twisting at his lips. “I’m glad to please.” And he had done his best to do so, dressing in his best clothes, wearing his long black leather jacket, black dress pants and a tight white t-shirt beneath, and putting actual effort into the way his hair looked. Anything to succeed. 

The man reached out with his hand and waited until Anakin grasped it for a handshake before he spoke again. “Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Kenobi, huh?” Anakin withdrew his hand, but kept his eyes on him, unwilling to miss any of his reactions. “Would have not expected a man of your background to show up in this part of the city.”

“I see my reputation precedes me once again, but you’re quite right. I usually prefer to stay far away from this district,” Kenobi turned away from him, facing straight forward, expression blank. 

“And yet here you are,” Anakin said, pushing his drink over as he slid one chair closer. 

“And here I am,” Kenobi muttered, face growing tense, and raised his glass to his mouth, drowning its content in one swallow. 

“Is today a special day for you?” he asked, having waited for the right moment to deliver the question, probing at the man as he had been told to do. “A day of importance perhaps?”

Kenobi barely reacted to what he had said, but Anakin had been told that the man was hard to read, so he had focused more and noticed the tension in his shoulders, the tightened grip on his glass. 

Out of a sudden, Kenobi put his drink back down on the table and reached out with his arm, burying his hand in Anakin’s collar to pull him closer, all the while remaining seated on his chair, body unmoving. He turned his face to Anakin, pulling him even closer than before, and stared at him with narrowed eyes, the rest of his body was utterly composed, but Anakin recognized the ire in his eyes, that deep seated anger. 

“You know who I am and yet you ask such questions. Do you have a masochistic streak that you want me to satisfy?”

Anakin snorted derisively, grabbing the hand wrapped up in his shirt, not to pull it away, but rather to tighten its hold on him. Kenobi tilted his head to the side, forehead creasing as he watched him with curious eyes before releasing him in the next second, forceful enough to almost throw him off his chair. Anakin straightened his back and adjusted his t-shirt, not taking his eyes off him, not daring to. 

“And if my answer is yes, what will you do to me then?” he said with a tight smile on his lips, keeping his voice low and quiet as he spoke.

“Nothing. I fear you are not worth the trouble you will no doubt end up causing.” Kenobi stood up and pulled out his wallet, dropping a fifty dollar note on the table, enough to pay for them both. “Not even for a night,” he said and made his way to the exit, taking off his heavy and dark brown trench coat from the clothes rack and putting it on in one swift movement before he walked out of the bar, door falling close after him. 

Anakin sighed after forcing himself to empty his own glass and followed right after him. The moment he stepped outside, cold and sharp wind whipped around him, bringing with it the stench of the streets, rancid and corrupt, but Anakin had long learned to drown it out, he had lived in it for so long that he had thought he could never rid himself of it. As his neck started to tense up at the coldness of the night, he turned his collar up and quickly sped up his steps. Only the silhouette of Kenobi was visible now, just sharp lines and fluid movements, strong and elegant. Anakin ran up to him, passing him by, and came to a halt right in front of the man who now had no other option than to stop in his tracks as well. 

With raised arms, Anakin stepped closer to him and watched Kenobi’s face grow more and more miffed as he took a deep breath. Anakin slowly lowered his arms then and buried his hands in his pockets.

“What do you want?” Kenobi asked with exasperation dragging out his words. “Do you need a favor? If yes, this is the wrong time and place to ask for it and my answer is already a hard no.”

“No, that’s not it,” Anakin answered, any form of playfulness gone as he stared at the man. He felt his own face harden, jaw clenched tightly.

Kenobi returned his stare and furrowed his brows at him. “Spit it out so I can finally go.”

“I want to join your organisation,” Anakin replied and took his right hand out of his pocket in invitation, asking him for another handshake, not in a greeting but as way to seal the deal he had proposed. 

Kenobi looked down at it before he raised his eyes again, he brought his hand up to his face and massaged his temples. “I know you think your playful approach sets you off from the rest and heightens your chances of being accepted, but believe me when I say that the opposite is true. You are far too uncivilized and reckless for our group.” He grabbed him by his shoulder and pushed him to the side, already off on his way. 

Anakin’s mouth spread into a smile, sharp and angry. “Don’t you at least want to know my name?” he called out after him. No answer came and he wouldn’t stand for that, he couldn't afford to, but Kenobi simply ignored him, not even changing his pace as he walked down the street. “My name is Anakin Skywalker,” he shouted, desperate to succeed and so unbearably afraid of failing. “Don’t make the mistake of underestimating me!”

Kenobi stopped abruptly, body stiff and paralysed before he moved his head to the side, not enough to see him, only barely enough to be noticed. It was a perfect reaction, Anakin thought as relief rushed over him and he began to grin. 

“Meet me tomorrow at 5 am at the harbour. Be a minute too late and we are done for good,” Kenobi declared with a strong and steadfast voice, still not turning around to face him. All Anakin could see was the back of his body. Without waiting for a reply, Kenobi began to walk away again. This time around, his steps were much faster than before. 

Hook, line and sinker.

* * *

  
  


This early into the morning, the mist at the harbour was dense enough to be impenetrable to the eye, obscuring the line between land and sea and masking away any person present. For all that Anakin could see, he was totally alone with the countless containers miling up around him, the only source of colour in this place made up of greys. There was only asphalted ground, a clouded sky and the sea to find here. He walked through the corridors the containers created, seeking the place where the scent of the sea was the strongest, salty and clean in the bitter coldness of a winter morning. With a sigh, Anakin pulled his jacket tighter around himself and carried on his way, cursing at his lack of a scarf, already irritated by being awake so early after having spent the night out.

When Anakin reached the edge of the harbour, he stood there, feet almost halfway off the ground and watched as the waves of the sea crashed against the ground beneath him, he kneeled down then, fascinated by the way the water moved with such vigor only to give away so easily, drawing back only to return again. 

Kenobi found him like that, marveling at the sea like a child, practically on his knees to worship. He announced himself by calling out his name and Anakin could recognize that unique voice anywhere now, even if he had spoken so little the night before. Slowly standing up, Anakin tore his gaze away from the sea and stared into the direction he had heard his name come from, waiting for Kenobi to walk out of the mist and reveal himself to him. 

“Early by half an hour, I’m impressed,” Kenobi said once he stood within an arm’s reach to him, sarcasm making his words sound slippery and smooth. “Such promising potential already.”

“As you know, I love to please,” he replied in kind, finding himself smiling at the easy banter, now not interlaced with whatever tension had taken hold of the man the day before. Anakin appraised the man with his eyes, much as he had done at the bar, not at all disappointed by what he saw. Kenobi wore the same outfit as yesterday, the only difference was the colour of his suit, today’s version a light grey. 

“So you want to join us? Give me a reason why you want to,” he demanded, face expectant as he watched him closely. 

Anakin took a deep breath and waited a while before he answered, turning his face back to the sea, contemplating his next move and choosing half truths wrapped up in pretty lies. “I’m good at what I do, at playing the streets, but I know that I could be even better with the right man to teach me. I have dreams and aims beyond the tight confines of this rotten city, I want a chance to fulfill them before these streets swallow me up for good and spit me out into the sea. I will not end up as human trash wasting away at the bottom of the sea, never able to reach the surface.” Anakin smiled weakly as he turned his head back to the man. 

“So you want to earn enough money and power to get the hell away from here, is that it?” Kenobi gave him a sceptical look. “I need recruits that are loyal, not until they have had their fill, but loyal to death and beyond. Do you think you are capable of that?”

“If the man I follow is worthy of my loyalty, than I am,” he replied, almost defensive with the forcefulness of his voice. He paused before his next words. “That’s why I chose to contact you. I heard stories about you, everyone on the streets does, you are a legend, the  _ Negotiator.” _

Kenobi turned his face to the side for a moment, jaw tense as his eyes found his again. So he was not that fond of his reputation, Anakin noted. 

“That was quite enough for now. I will explain the proceedings, if you choose to join me. If you say yes, you will be given a week to move out of your current apartment, to break any other affiliations you may have to other groups or institutions, to say goodbye to the people in your life. You will let go of your current life and start off as a blank slate. Do you understand?”

Anakin nodded fiercely, keeping his gaze steady. 

“But that’s not all. I need you to understand what kind of life you will have at my side. I don’t know what your version of ‘playing the streets’ entails. You may have sold drugs, you may have dealt with weapons, you may have killed already. Whatever you’ve done before, you will do far worse at my side and you will never be able to leave. There is either life with me or death alone. Do you understand?”

“I know who you are, Kenobi. I’ve heard about the things you’ve done, you’re known for being brutally efficient. You have to be in order to control the city and no one with so much power lives a clean life. I understand that and I’m ready to do whatever it takes to work with you.”

“You won’t work with me, but under me, but I will treat you well, so be well assured. You will want for  _ nothing  _ while under my care.” Kenobi’s gaze bored its way into him, scrutinizing, pulling off layer after layer to look into his core, but Anakin knew how to protect himself from such intimidation, from things far worse, he had built his walls brick for brick, had crafted his image day by day. Anything to survive under the influence of his boss. 

He bowed his head to the man, agreeing to his terms. 

“Then that would be resolved,” he began and pulled out a card, its paper thick and smooth, and gave it to him. Anakin immediately turned it around in his hand. “I expect you at this address in a week’s time, at 8 pm. Take nothing of your belongings with you, nothing but the clothes on your skin and your papers. Don't wait in front of the building, go inside, give your name to the receptionist and she will give you your next instructions.”

Anakin played with the card, eyes averted. “Understood, Sir,” he said with a mirthful smile on his lips as he lifted his gaze back to the man’s face. 

Kenobi nodded curtly, the corners of mouth turned up. “Till next week,” he said and turned around, leaving without waiting for a reply once again. Anakin watched him be engulfed in the mist, watched it swallow him whole until there was nothing left of the man, nothing but his presence still lingering around somewhere in his mind. He was different from what he had expected, not nearly as intimidating as he had always imagined him to be, as if he was above such mean tactics and maybe he had just progressed so far in his career in the underworld that he no longer had to sully himself with the dirty work of a simple gangster. He just knew that he wasn’t even half as afraid as he ought to be, if at all. 

Anakin turned his head to the sky, now less clouded, and decided to wait for the sun to rise. He sat down at the edge, ground barely high enough so that his feet were not immersed in water, not caring for the stronger waves that occasionally came up to his legs, wetting his black jeans and drowning his boots in water. He leaned back on his arms and let out a long exhale, feeling the way his rib cage moved back to force the air out of his lungs. 

He waited until the mist cleared up, until the sun was so high up in the sky that the sea regained its blue, until the asphalt showed its cracks and potholes and the containers reflected their colours back on their surroundings. He waited, knowing that he had to go and report back, he waited, wishing he could have just went with Kenobi now to spare himself the upcoming meeting. He waited and then he left, having no other choice. 

* * *

  
  


The days passed him by, each of them spent preparing for the task ahead, learning as much as he could about the man that would soon hold the most power over his life, with no other company than his laptop and the delivery man that occasionally brought him his food. The days passed and suddenly it was Wednesday, close to 7 pm. 

He had done everything Kenobi had asked of him, had moved out of his apartment, leaving behind everything he had ever owned. It was not much, but each item had meaning, memories both good and bad. If he could have, he would have moved it all to one of his safehouses. He wanted to keep each of them, not at all ready to let go, but his boss had not wanted him to take any risks and so he had done as he had been told. The only thing Anakin had allowed himself to take was a picture of his mother and her silver necklace. 

And then there was nothing more left to do, so Anakin grabbed his leather jacket from the counter and ran down the stairs of the apartment complex, rushing to the bus stop at the next intersection. He made it in time and entered the bus, choosing a seat at the back. 

With a sigh, Anakin leaned his head against the window, turning the card Kenobi had given him around in his hand, fingers moving over the smooth indentations of the scripture. The address was located at the heart of the city, where tourists swarmed to, milling around and gawking at the high buildings, and party goers disturbed the streets at weekend nights. No matter what day or time it was, there were always masses of people flooding the streets, walking around so closely they breathed each other’s air. Anakin only went there when he had business to attend to and pissed off the moment he was done. 

With only one station left, Anakin stood up from his seat and made his way to the exit, wiggling through the now denser crowd of the bus. He reached the exit just in time, doors already sliding open, and jumped outside. Turning left, Anakin walked down the street and around the corner, finally reaching his destination. 

He stood in front of the high building, rounded windows littered its wall, giving it a modern flare in contrast to the robustic looking outerier, and tilted his head up to read the sign  _ Eastgate Grand Central.  _ Anakin had done his research and found nothing unusual about it, nothing but high prizes and even higher praises of the service. He wouldn’t mind residing here, as long as he was not the one paying for the room. 

Burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans, Anakin stepped inside and went straight to the reception, where an elderly woman was already watching him, the only receptionist not talking on the phone or typing furiously at a computer. 

“Anakin Skywalker,” he said, once he stood in front of her, tapping his fingers against the wood of the check-in counter. She moved her glasses up and looked him up and down, pushing a card over made of the same paper as the one Kenobi had given him, only this time there was not an address written on it, but a room number. 

“Go to the room, Mister Kenobi is already waiting for you,” she said and left the counter before he could ask any questions. 

Anakin grabbed the card and walked to the elevators, moving up to the sixth floor. Anticipation made his limbs twitch, he felt almost delighted to meet Kenobi again. The last week had been such a bore, dull days spent all by himself. 

He reached his assigned room and knocked against the door, waiting only a few seconds before it was opened. He had seen the pictures on the internet before he had come here, but the luxurious and modern furnishing of the suite still awed him and left him open mouthed. The sheets on the canopy bed were probably more worth than anything he or his mother had ever owned. 

“This is definitely an upgrade,” he muttered flatly, walking farther into the room, and swiftly turned around to face the man responsible for all of this madness.

Kenobi smiled at him, face smug and benevolent, there was almost something gloating in his expression as he watched him gape at the room. “This will only be a temporary stay, don’t get too cozy with it. Once you have proven your worth, you will be moved to another location.”

“So I’m still not in,” he said, pouting at the man before the corners of lips quirked up.

“Of course not,” Kenobi replied matter of factly, eyes dropping down to his lips for the shortest moment. “I don’t trust you yet.”

Anakin nodded at him, having expected nothing else, and let his eyes roam over the suite again, noticing the open wardrobe to his right. He approached it then and let his hands glide over the clothes, all black or white, made of pricy materials and all to his taste. Anakin raised his brows, feeling incredulous, not believing what his eyes were seeing. “For a man you don’t trust, you are willing to spend quite a good amount of money on me.”

“I may not trust you, but I find you quite entertaining, interesting almost. Your boldness is both refreshing and irritating.”

“ _ Almost interesting, _ I have never been praised so highly,” Anakin jested, still marveling at all the new clothes that were now his to wear. He turned back around before he spoke again. “How generous of you.”

“My generosity has not ended yet. I will take you out to dinner. Go to the bathroom and you’ll find your outfit for tonight,” Kenobi commanded not unkindly, posture more lax than usual, arms crossed over his chest.

Not knowing how to react to  _ that  _ other than to bristle, Anakin looked around and walked away from Kenobi after he had found the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and shook his head once his eyes landed on the outfit hanging on a metal hook bar. A thick coat, a long sleeved shirt made of shiny silk, at least one size too big for him, smooth dress pants and leather shoes. Everything in the same rich shade of black. As much as Anakin wanted to refuse to wear it and show some of his rebellious spirit, he found himself unable to resist, especially after having touched the soft silk, it was such fine material, the temptation was just too great.

Anakin dressed himself slowly, careful with every tug and drag of the cloth. He rolled the long sleeves of his shirt up slightly and left three buttons open, a low cleavage showing off his clean shaven chest and his silver necklace. His gaze drifted off to the mirror and he was more than pleased with his reflection, Kenobi really had great taste. However, Anakin knew that he was not being treated as a recruit for sure now, but rather as something much different and he yet had to understand what kind of consequences such a difference would have for him in the end, it was a mystery and those rarely boded well for him. 

After grabbing the coat from the bar, Anakin left the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He walked farther into the room and saw as Kenobi’s gaze glided across his body, eyes coming to rest at his low cleavage, a frown settling over his face.

Kenobi approached him and reached out with his hand, fingers grabbing his shirt to close one of the buttons, careful as to not touch his bare skin. “Don’t overdo it,” he said cooly and gestured for him to follow, already turning around and leaving the hotel room behind. 

Anakin put on his coat and quickly went after him, curious and eager to find out what Kenobi had in store for him next. 

* * *

  
  


Kenobi took him to a steakhouse not too far from the hotel and without having even entered the place, Anakin could already see all the zeros on the menu. He sighed and gave Kenobi a disapproving glance before he followed him inside. They chose a table at the far back of the restaurant, shielded from curious eyes by wooden beams. 

Anakin sat down and quickly grabbed the menu from the stand on the table. He looked at nothing but the prices, not bothering with the dishes at all and chose the cheapest steak. While he was hesitant to have Kenobi waste any more money on him today, he also refused to resign himself to eating a side dish or worse, a salad, not with the delicious smell of meat wafting around him, making his mouth drool and his head spin.

Kenobi accepted his choice and ordered for them both. Their drinks came not a second later, some form of white wine that Kenobi had promised tasted sweet. He poured both of their glasses before leaning back into his chair, eyes once again fixed on him, intent on catching any small misstep on Anakin's behalf.

"Why are we here?" Anakin asked. "I doubt you take all of your recruits out for dinner."

"But you are not a recruit yet, are you?" Kenobi countered, drawing his brows together as he lifted his head slightly, staring down at him as he effectively evaded answering his question. “What do you think is the reason for this dinner?”

“To test my table manners and see just how uncivilized I am?” Anakin gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. If Kenobi refused to give him proper answers to his questions, why should he bother himself with it? This was much more fun this way and Kenobi had yet to give him a reason to fear him, he seemed a reasonable man, except maybe for his hang-up to spoil strangers with luxuries, but everyone had their flaws and if Anakin benefited from them, all the better. 

“To get to know you,” Kenobi replied quietly, voice low but strong as he leaned forward. “I want to know what kind of life you’ve lead till now.”

Anakin’s face closed up and he averted his gaze to the table, a sudden burst of defiance and anger made him want to act out. “I thought I became a blank slate with no past and life beyond the two of us,” he said tightly, fighting off the urge to show his ire by hissing out his words. "Is that not what you said to me?"

"I did, more or less," Kenobi murmured, closing his eyes for a moment. "But letting go is not the same as forgetting. Your memories will always remain with you, but they should not overshadow your future."

Anakin gave him a sceptical look before he sighed, it was not like there was much of a choice, he was here to please the man after all. "Fine, I will talk, but only if you repay me the favour. For each answer I give, you will give me one as well. So do you agree?"

Kenobi nodded and leaned back against his chair, arm slung over the backrest. "You can even start."

Anakin didn't wait long before he asked his first question, it bucked him too much to hesitate now. "Why are you being so nice to me?" he said, brows furrowed tightly. 

"Nice?" he replied and gave a short laugh. "Did you expect pain and torture from me? Trials that leave scars on mind and body? I see no need for such cruelty with you when I can achieve the same in much sweeter ways. You said you would only follow a man worthy of your loyalty, so why should I betray your trust from the very beginning? People whose loyalty was gained through pain and humiliation are quick to turn against you anyway.”

"But what makes me worthy of your time, of your money? I'm nothing but a stranger to you. As far as you know, I’m a nobody." No form of kindness from a stranger came without its price. Whatever you gained, you would lose as well, he had learned that much so far. Better an enemy revealed their face in the start than when it was already too late and you were caught up in their web. 

"You should play by your own rules. It's my turn to ask questions," Kenobi smiled at him. "So, how is your mother?"

"You really don't hold back, do you?" Anakin retaliated, shifting on his chair. His fingers moved to his necklace, tracing its slim chain. He hated speaking about her, even the thought of her pulled him down. Her absence was a wound that never quite healed, its depth was years long, still so prone to reopening and bleeding at any given moment, at the slightest push. With closed eyes, Anakin turned his head to the side. He opened them again the moment he began to speak. "She is the best part of my life. I've had her for 14 years and then she was taken away from me."

"So she died?" Kenobi furrowed his brows and began to stroke his bear, face growing grave and serious. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Anakin didn't reply, he didn't have it in him to do so. He couldn't talk about her, couldn't even think of her without hurt and shame. But she was still with him, he still had her and that was all that mattered. He almost said:  _ No, she is not dead!  _

"What happened that day we met? Why were you so tense? Why did you go to that district?" he asked instead, feeling the need to retaliate, to dish out the same hurt.

"It was the anniversary of my foster father's death. He was killed in that very same district. But enough about me, what about your father?" His gaze became more intense, searching for something, for a certain reaction maybe. He leaned forward then, a single strand of his hair fell over his forehead. Kenobi’s undivided focus made him feel unsafe, uncomfortable for the first time since he had met the man.

"I don't have one, never did," Anakin leaned forward as well, he rested his elbows on the table, knowing it was bad etiquette, but he wanted to get closer to Kenobi, as close as he could before asking his next question, it was an intimate one after all. "Were you able to take your revenge?" he whispered, head slightly tilted to the side as he stared at him with only a few inches between their faces.

"Yes, I did. Did you?"

He nodded and moved back slowly, away from him. "Did it feel good?"

"It was not enough," Kenobi said, jaw clenching as his eyes became unfocused, staring off into the distance. 

"It never is," he agreed and heavy silence settled over them, interrupting their fast paced exchange. 

Their dishes came soon after, putting a final end to their game. Anakin stared down at his steak and roasted potatoes, inhaling its delicious scent, and watched as the butter melted atop the meat. He hastily grabbed a fork and knife, wanting to taste it as soon as possible. He dived right in and ate without pausing to breathe, it came as no surprise at all when he was the first to finish his dish.

Out of a sudden, Kenobi grabbed his hand and pulled it to himself to turn it around so that his palm was facing up. He lifted his gaze from it and stared at Anakin, as intense and curious as before, speaking calmly, each word soft and gentle. "Did you ever know hunger? Were you deprived of many things?"

Anakin withdrew his hand from him, surprised by his weird and inquisitive behaviour. "What do you want to hear?" he said with narrowed eyes, looking at him from below his eyebrows.

"The truth."

“My life was just fine,” Anakin answered tersely. “Our game was already finished, no need to return to it, when it’s no fun at all.”

“You are quite right, let us not ruin the mood any further,” Kenobi conceded. “Let’s talk about business instead. Aren’t you curious about what I have planned for you?”

“Of course I am. So what will you have me do?”

“You will accompany me to one of our warehouses. It’s time to familiarize you with the family business.”

“What an honor! Especially as a non-recruit,” Anakin palmed his chest with a mocking smile and bowed his head slightly. Things were progressing faster than he had expected, his boss would be happy to hear the news. Maybe that would make him stay away for a little longer, he could only hope so. 

“A pre-recruit,” Kenobi corrected, a smile slowly graced his lips. He tilted his head back and the light from the ceiling fell right onto his face, the blue of his eyes much brighter under it, as clear as a summer sky. 

Anakin forced his gaze away from him and took a deep breath, hand moving to his bloated stomach. “Not for long,” he finally replied, his reaction a bit too slow for it to go unnoticed. 

“I will pick you up in the morning, so be outside at 6 am. You can wear something casual if you prefer. And if you-” Kenobi abruptly stopped talking and took out his vibrating phone from his breast pocket, smile vanishing as he looked at the display, displeased by whatever he saw. “Give me a moment,” he said to Anakin and stood up from the table, moving farther into the back of the restaurant. 

Anakin observed him from his seat. His demeanor had changed drastically, his body was stiff and he had squared up his shoulders. When Kenobi turned around for a moment, the anger was visible even on his face, brows furrowed and lips pressed tightly together. Unfortunately, from his distance, he was unable to hear anything Kenobi was saying, only making out a few inconsequential words said louder in frustration. 

It didn’t take long before Kenobi returned to him, as calm and composed as ever, seemingly swept clean of any anger or frustration. He didn’t sit down, instead he grabbed his trenchcoat and stopped right next to him, resting his hand on his shoulder. “You will have to excuse me. I have to leave now. There is an important meeting I must attend, but we will see each other soon enough.” Kenobi stepped away again, removing his hand from him. “I can call in one of our drivers. You don’t have to take the bus.”

“No, it’s fine. I would actually prefer to walk,” Anakin said, not in the mood to wait for some unknown driver to pick him up nor to be treated like a child unable to walk back home alone. He stood up as well and put on his coat, not caring to receive Kenobi’s permission. They left the restaurant and stood still once they were outside, facing one another quietly. 

“Till tomorrow,” Kenobi said, reaching out to shake hands with him. Anakin nodded and grabbed his hand, letting go the next second. He was the first to turn around and began to walk down the street, looking back only once to see Kenobi enter a car and drive off. He came to a halt then, watching as the car passed him by, its windows tinted and impenetrable. 

Anakin pulled his coat tighter around himself to fend off tonight’s coldness, head bowed as he made his way back to the hotel, dodging and avoiding the many people on his path. He still felt agitated, a quiet pull and push inside his mind that wouldn’t let him calm down. Kenobi was such a great source of confusion to him, subverting his expectations at every turn. Whatever his intentions were, Anakin knew he was not privy to them, he had no clue at all, he just knew that he was standing in muddy water, everything about that man was obscure. With so many rumours surrounding the man, it was hard to tell which one was true and which one was just bullshit, he would have to find it out on his own.

Just as he was about to turn the corner, he was suddenly pulled into an alleyway by a strong hand wound tightly around his arm. The moment he stood in the dark and narrow alleyway, furious and seething, the hold on his arm was gone, hand vanishing back into the shadows.  _ So needlessly dramatic, _ Anakin thought and messaged his arm, smoothing over the fabric of his coat as he approached the dark figure, already knowing who it was. 

His boss was all hard edges, life had left its scars on him and hardened him into the man he was today, unpredictable in his cruelty and frugal with his affection. He was also a man that struck him with the same hand that had fed him over the years, it was always a give and take with him, no matter what. Oh, Anakin knew him all too well, it was a given after having spent  _ years  _ under his tutelage. Nothing came without its price, that had been his second lesson under him. 

“Why are you here? It’s a week too soon for our next meeting,” Anakin asked, arms crossed over his chest as he tried to make out his face in the dark. It was a dangerous endeavor to speak to him without being able to read his mood. 

His boss finally stepped forward, the street lights that filtered through the corner were barely bright enough to illuminate the lines of his body. He came so close that only a few inches separated them and then he stared at him, silent and waiting for something. And although Anakin stood taller than him, although he was the one who had to avert his eyes to face him, his boss was still looking  _ down  _ at him, as if he was nothing but the roughed up teen he had picked up from the street and he always succeeded at making feel like that as well, small and afraid, but also desperate and hopeful. Anakin hated it, hated himself for that part inside of him that wanted nothing but his approval, his affection, he wished he could be able to grow out of this childish weakness, he wished he could just kill that part of himself and be done with it. 

“I see he has already left his mark on you,” his boss drawled, his voice a low and dark timbre, almost soothing were it not for the mad glint in his eyes. He grabbed Anakin’s silky shirt and moved his fingers along his collar to adjust it. “But you are his type after all, blond and impossibly temperamental. Make sure you please him thoroughly, I want him head over heels for you.”

Anakin tried to endure it, he really did try, but he could only take so much. “Could you stop acting like my pimp for a second and actually tell me why you came here? I thought you wanted to be careful, but here you are, not even 20 feet away from Kenobi’s hotel.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you and if you care for your own wellbeing, you would do well to stay quiet until I tell you to speak. You know how this goes. Why are you always putting up a front, when you know how that will end for you?” He gave him a smile, sharp and cold, eyes calculating as they took him in. 

Anakin bowed his head then, knowing any other reaction to be futile and he didn’t want to risk his boss’ ire any further.

“Did you make any actual progress during your rendezvous or were you two just chit chatting?” he asked, pleased by his easy submission.

“He plans to take me to one of his warehouses tomorrow morning,” Anakin answered, trying to suffocate his own anger and disgust, to snuff it out before it could affect him any more. 

“Finally some good news,” he said and grabbed him by his shoulder, his smile widening. “Your next visit to your little cottage will happen very soon, if you keep this up. Well done, my boy, well done.”

Anakin gave a sigh of relief at his words, he had been afraid that he had messed up his chance and prolonged his waiting period for another month. Alone the thought of having to stay in the city for any longer without leaving to the cottage was unbearable. He had to go there, too much time had passed since the last visit, he just had to see her.

His boss suddenly grabbed his face with both of his hands and leaned in, eyes wide and intense. “You must keep this up, you have to ensnare him. Your looks alone nor your name will suffice, I want you to build a personal relationship to him. Make him want you, make him trust you and when the time comes, we will both destroy him.”

Anakin had grown up with the mad obsession his boss held for Kenobi, but it still left him feeling uneasy and afraid. His boss was the most unpredictable when he got like this and Anakin was always the one to suffer through the fallouts, a convenient outlet for his frustrations. 

“Yes, Maul,” Anakin replied quietly as a shiver run down his back, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. The very first lesson he had learned from him had been to seek revenge above all. 

  
  



	2. Asea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mixed feelings about this chapter, but it sets the footwork for the next one and I got to introduce a new character. 
> 
> As always, have fun reading and tell me how it was :)

Kenobi had driven him to the former industrial district of the city, a piece of abandoned and forsaken history, it was nothing but a token of a more glorious past now, brought low by forces outside of its control. Anakin could still remember the crowds of workers, the almost endless stream of trucks and all the various machinery and vehicles of construction, he had been so fascinated by them as a child, always tugging at his mother’s sleeve to ask question after question and she had answered each one of them with unparalleled patience. And now all of it was gone with only ruins and memories left remaining. 

The car came to a halt in a wide and open field of barren asphalt, multiple broad warehouses stood at a distance, all in a row, the rusty red of the bricks were its only striking feature. Anakin tore his gaze away from it and quickly stepped out of the car, wanting to open Kenobi’s door for him, but he had been too slow, the man was already outside, watching him with amused eyes. 

“There is no need for such antics, I’m quite capable of opening the door myself,” Kenobi said, smiling at him from across the car. 

Anakin felt his face grow hot and turned his head back to the warehouses, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Noted,” he replied quietly and moved to Kenobi’s side, unsure whether or not he was allowed to approach the warehouses on his own. 

“Follow right behind me,” Kenobi instructed and began to walk at a fast pace. “I would tell you not to talk unless spoken to, but somehow I get the feeling that you will not follow that particular order. But still, try not to step on anyone’s toes, not everyone will be as welcoming to you as I have been.”

“I understand. Will I be meeting someone important?” Anakin asked as he followed Kenobi, always one step behind him. 

“Just my dear heir,” he answered. “And old friends of mine.”

“So the rumours about the Negotiator being a father are true?”

Kenobi shook his head at him and sighed. “She is not my child, just someone very dear to me. Also, do not refer to me as such, my name should suffice.”

They finally reached the entrance to one of the warehouses, the metal double door was already slightly open, so they entered right away. The inside was spacious and open, no interior walls divided the enormous warehouse into rooms and the ceiling was so far up, so high that it almost made him feel small. 

Anakin averted his gaze back to the ground, back to multiple rows of wide, white tables stretching through the whole building, each one of them stacked with bags. People of various ages were milling around them, opening packages to check their contents only to repack them again, weighing one after another, branding them with their insignia and from what Anakin could see, they worked well enough, fast but meticulous under the careful watch of a few soldiers who strolled past them. It was nothing he had not seen before.

“Anakin,” Kenobi waited for him to redirect his focus back on him before he continued. “This is Ahsoka Tano,” he said and pointed at a girl. She was staring at him with open suspicion, her round and ice blue eyes were narrowed and her wide nose turned high as she assessed him. She was small in height and slight in her build, but Anakin could see that she was well trained, her muscles showed through her shirt. But still, she couldn’t be older than 18, maybe 17 and yet she carried herself with confidence and power. 

Tano pushed one of her dreadlocks back from her face and walked up to him, brows furrowing as she looked him up and down. When she spoke, she did so with a calm and polite demeanor. “Nice to meet you, Skywalker, I have been waiting for this meeting for a while now. My boss had a lot to say about you.”

“Thank you, Tano,” Anakin replied and looked at Kenobi, waiting for him to reveal the reason behind this impromptu introduction. There was not a lot of information out about Tano, she was more of a mysterious persona in the underworld, known for pulling quite a few strings in the background and, of course, for her rumoured connection to Kenobi. So mysterious, in fact, that she had evaded even Maul's constant stalking. Anakin would have never thought her to be this young, she was still a fucking teenager for fuck's sake and already an heiress to the oldest and most influential mob on this side of the country and not even by blood, but by merit. It made him all the more curious about her and how she had gotten so close to Kenobi, there had to be one hell of a story behind her. 

“I see my boss has been treating you well,” she said with a raised brow as her eyes fell to his clothes, a knowing smile spread on her face then. “Very well, indeed.”

“Yes, he has been more than generous to me, so much that he has me wondering about his intentions, in fact.” 

“Oh, don’t worry. You see, my boss here is just a very chivalrous man, no need to fear any misbehaviour from him.” Tano was grinning at him, amusement shone through her eyes, now not narrowed with suspicion. “Just enjoy his gifts.”

“Well, thank you,” Anakin replied, smiling at her in earnest. “That’s exactly what I planned to do with them.”

“I think that’s enough,” Kenobi interrupted them and gave Tano a sharp look before turning back to him. “I’m glad to see that you two get along. That will make the upcoming week much more tolerable to the both of you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I will have very little time for you, the next week will be quite busy and Ahsoka will take over a few of my operations and I want you to accompany her.”

“So you want me to watch over her?” 

Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest and gave him an unimpressed look. “No, he actually wants me to babysit you, newbie,” she countered. 

“I’m not that easy to look after,” Anakin replied and smiled at her tightly, cocking his head to the side. 

“I’m sure I can manage,” Ahsoka just said and faced away from him. “Are you sure about this?” she asked Kenobi. 

Kenobi shook his head at her and ignored her remark, instead of answering her, he looked at his watch and then said to him: “Anakin, I have to remind you of my warning. I await two of my partners in a few minutes and they are not under my direct order. There are certain rules that even I have to bend to, so don’t cause any offence and just watch and observe." He grabbed his shoulder and fixed him with a penetrating stare. "Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, Sir,” Anakin began, returning his stare with the same intensity. “Is there a particular reason for my presence here then, if I am to remain quiet?" 

“Eye candy?” Ahsoka piped up, willing her face to remain serious as she looked at him. “To make our partners more gullible, you know.”

Anakin rolled his eyes at her, she was really bordering on getting on his nerves now, the only thing keeping him from retaliating in kind was Kenobi’s steady attention on them and Maul’s ever present voice in his mind telling him to please the man and bury his own ego. It was easier said than done, there had been more than enough times in his life where he had been talked down to, but for it to be done by someone years his junior just hit him different. However, position and status always tríumphed over age and it was not like what she had said had not been objectively amusing. The problem was just that objectivity was not his forte. 

In the end, he decided to play along, forcing himself to think of the long run. “I’m flattered you think I’m good looking enough for the job, I’ll do my best then.”

Kenobi snorted and stepped forward from their little group, so that Anakin and Ahsoka were flanking his sides from behind him. Ahsoka turned to him then with a wry smile. “I have to remain silent too, you know. This is Obi-Wan’s show, not ours,” she whispered to him just as the doors to the warehouse fell open. Anakin nodded at her and directed his gaze back on Kenobi, watched him straighten his back and roll back his shoulders as he cracked his fingers. 

Two senior men approached, one almost only half as tall as the other, both wearing a simple black suit. They strode forward in tandem, the way they held themselves separated them from being simple goons, there was no excessive show of power, no unnecessary posturing, just experience and security in one’s position guiding them forward. 

“It’s nice to meet you again, Obi-Wan,” the taller one said, voice low and deep. He and his partner didn’t approach Kenobi any further, keeping a healthy distance to him, but they held genuine warmth in their gazes, something that spoke of familiarity. “Too much time has passed since we’ve last seen each other.” 

“The streets have kept me quite occupied, we are living in busy times. It’s more than difficult to make room to meet old friends, how fortunate that we came together today!” Kenobi spread his arms and embraced one after the other with a wide smile on his face only to quickly withdraw from them, maintaining the same distance as before. “So what allowed you both to clear your schedule for this rather abrupt meeting?”

“We have a few concerns that we would like to address,” the same man spoke again, the short one just watched from the sidelines, not because he held a lesser position, far from it. Anakin could tell so by the way the other men kept returning their gazes on him to check for his reaction.

“Concerns?” Kenobi replied lightly and slightly tilted his head to the side. 

“Yes, concerns. There have been recent attacks on your shipments, too many for it to be a coincidence. These goons have stolen a month’s worth of our cargos. They killed six of my men just last week, while they were unloading your products. Doing business with you has become more and more dangerous, if you cannot clear up this mess, it will be impossible for us to continue our partnership without suffering substantial damage. We are willing to lend you one of our best trackers. The sooner this crusade against you is stopped, the better for all of us.”

Anakin tried hard to maintain his composure, he forced his face to remain as blank as before and willed his body to keep its posture. It felt strange to act the part of the innocent bystander, when he knew so much more than they did. He hated pretending, he hated it to put up an act, but it was a necessary evil. 

“This is not the first crusade against me and it will certainly not be the last,” Kenobi sounded steadfast as he spoke, composed and well put together, as if not bothered at all by the recent disruptions to his business, he was at most annoyed by what he probably thought of as nothing but another paltry inconvenience brought forth by lesser men. 

“You should not underestimate the danger this new enemy poses. There is no structure in these attacks, no way to foretell where the next strike will hit. It seems as if someone is just out there to cause chaos. The only coherent element in these incidents is you, Obi-Wan. A reckless and unpredictable enemy may be prone to causing their own end, but they drag those around them down as well.” The tall man grabbed Kenobi's shoulder before he carried on, face growing ever more grave and serious. “So be careful.”

“I thank you for your advice, old friend, and for your concern. I have already set Ahsoka on this, you know there is no else I trust more for this task, except maybe for myself, but I have more important matters to attend to. We have a new city mayor I need to take care of and she is known for being quite an idealist.”

“Good luck with that,” the old man replied. “I hope this problem will be swiftly dealt with.” He nodded stiffly then, before he and his silent and watchful partner turned around and left the warehouse. 

Anakin observed Kenobi, he watched him keenly, not taking his eyes off him for even a second. This moment was too important, Maul would want to know every detail and the better he delivered the story, the better his chances for a little visit outside the city. 

Kenobi took a deep breath and massaged his temples, hand covering his face in the progress. He seemed tired, shoulders slightly slouched now that they were on their own, but within a minute, he pulled himself together again, back to his usual composed swagger as he faced them, the corners of his mouth turned up.

“Time to get to work,” he then said. 

* * *

  
  


“Please just leave me alone! I know nothing!” a balding man tightly tied to a chair begged, his skin a paltry parlour with a sheen of sweat covering it. His body was almost sickly thin, all gangly limbs and sunken in cheeks, but the worst of it were his eyes, darting around and shifting by the second and so impossibly wide with terror. Anakin recognized that look, he had seen it often enough to know the cause of it. This man was not afraid of them, or at least not primarily, no, his subject of fear was someone else altogether, someone far crueler than Ahsoka could ever imagine to be. 

Anakin packed what was left of the man’s hair, momentarily disgusted by the sweat on his hand, and pushed the man’s head up so that they were face to face. “We will leave you alone, mostly intact even, if you give us information about your contractor. Tell us who it was and if you don’t know, give us all the details of how you came into contact. We know you didn’t do this on your own, so help yourself out and rat your accomplices out.” He said all of that, knowing it to be useless, this man was not going to talk, he knew his fate would be much worse, if he were to reveal anything. 

“Please, don’t make me talk, please. He will come and punish me, I saw him do it once, I can’t!” he wailed only to quiet down in the next second. His face grew increasingly blank and absent and his eyes became unfocused, staring off into the distance. He began to whisper incoherent words, slow and incomprehensible at first. And then sobs wrecked his weak body and he lost more and more sense. “He will find me and kill me… the monster will come for me, I can’t…” The man started to fight against the robes, possessed by his own terror. He threw himself against the binds and managed to fall down, gurgling sounds resounded in the room as soon as his body hit the ground.

Anakin stared at the man, saw his mad fear and thought to himself,  _ wouldn’t it be better to just kill him off? _ But before he could take any action, blood began to seep out of the man’s mouth and he realized that he was already on his way to dying. This fool had been nothing but a tool, discarded by its master. Anakin wondered when the same would happen to him, when would Maul make away with him? When would he become useless to him? But Maul had promised him his freedom, as soon as he had repaid his debt, he would be free to go, free to join her side and only time would tell if he was going to keep that promise.

“He just bit his tongue off,” Ahsoka snarled, staring down at the man who was currently suffocating on his own blood, body convulsing piteously on the dirty ground. “Why is everyone of these goons so ready to off themselves? They must be scared shitless, always babbling about some fucking monster instead of giving us a name or any valuable information at all.”

Anakin turned his nose up as the man grabbed him by his leg, panic and fear etched deeply into his withered face, and pushed the dying man off him. “They have certainly raised more questions than answers,” he said and shifted his eyes back to her. They had been going at this for several days now, collecting any men associated with the recent raids and bringing them in to beat information out of them. None of them ever recognized him of course, Maul had always persisted on secrecy, keeping him on the sidelines, only ever allowed to work under him when the people involved all ended up dead anyway. 

“Such a waste of time. Obi-Wan will be very displeased, if we don’t find any tracks soon,” Ahsoka bemoaned and closed her puffa jacket with a dragged out sigh. “There’s nothing left to do here anymore. The boys will clean up after us, so let’s just leave and grab some food, I have been  _ starving  _ all day.”

“Good idea, I know a pretty good burger place around the corner,” Anakin proposed, already heading to the door. He opened it and waited for Ahsoka to exit first before he followed her out. 

“So you are 21 years old, right?” Ahsoka asked, once they had sat down at a table in the corner of the burger bar, orders already given. She was seated across from him with one leg resting on her seat bench, her arm prone on her knee while she played with the menu in her hand.

“Yes,” he answered absentmindedly and took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of greasy fries and meat all around him. He was just as hungry as she was, if not more. 

“So what’s your big plan, I mean for your future?”

“I used to want to become a pilot and travel as much as I could, but that was a long time ago. I don’t really prefer a more… civil life anyway, so I’m right where I belong, doing what I do best and all I want is to become even better at it.”

“Interesting,” Ahsoka said, taking her leg off the seat bench to slide forward and lean her head on her hand. 

“Are you asking all of these questions for yourself or did Kenobi set you on this? I mean, he is rather curious about my past.”

“As he ought to be, there is little to no information out about you on the streets. You are an enigma to us and the longer it takes for us to understand you and your motivations, the less likely we will be able to trust you and that would be quite a shame, you are not too bad to hang out with.”

Anakin didn’t answer at first, instead he watched as a waitress brought their food over to them, he thanked her and accepted the dishes. “I am as transparent as I can be. Ask away and I will answer, there is nothing to hide from my side,” he lied and stuffed his mouth with a few fries, smiling at Ahsoka’s raised brow. “But enough about me, how will we proceed now that we’ve interrogated more than five of these goons? Clearly that won’t get us anywhere. They won’t sell their contractor out.”

Ahsoka just pouted at him and took her burger into her hands, taking a huge bite out of it. “I know that now,” she said after she had swallowed her bite. “We will have to up our protection of the transports or we will continue to lose more and more money.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Anakin asked while he dipped one of the fries in sauce, eyes averted to the table. 

“Oh, I have a few ideas.”

“Namely?”

“I don't think you have earned the right to know yet,” she said, eyebrows raised as she appraised him. 

Anakin smiled at her, impressed by her secrecy. Considering her young age, most teenagers would have wanted to boast about their plans, most would have let their position convince them that they were invulnerable, making them less careful than warranted, but not her, which was probably the reason she had come so far without the usual rise of publicity on the streets. If the last days had proven anything, then it had been her useful pragmatism and efficiency. She moved fast and knew when to change her methods, Kenobi had done a great job in teaching her. 

Anakin liked her well enough, but what a shame that she was only going to end up hating and resenting him, when the game he was playing was finally finished. 

* * *

  
  


The air was bitingly cold and fresh around him as he sat high up on the balcony of his suite, gazing out at the night sky and enjoying the sight of the few stars brilliant enough to stand out against the artificial lights from below. It soothed him to look up and to think about the sheer incomprehensible scale of the sky and the galaxy beyond. There was so much more to life than this city, so much more than the petty games and infights out on the streets, not that he had seen any of it, but  _ god,  _ did he dream about it, every night, constantly with only one thing holding him back. The recent strain he was under had only worsened it, giving his dreams a cutting edge. 

After sparing a look at the display of his phone, a sigh escaped him, leaving his mouth as mist. One message and his already sore mood was completely ruined, he just wanted rest and time to think, there was so much he had to mull over. This undercover bullshit was growing over his head, he was sick of it, the sooner it ended the better, but the progress he had thought he had made had come to a staggering halt, Kenobi was nowhere to be found, not at all present for the last two weeks, except for short calls that barely lasted a minute. It was more than frustrating and Anakin knew that his boss was already preparing a hefty punishment for his recent drawback, his message clearly conveyed his intention. 

Anakin quickly dressed himself, pulling the hood of his black hoodie over his head, and went out, something not that unusual for him, he had made the effort to go on nightwalks several times over his stay at the hotel. As he raced through the streets, taking a few detours here and there, he felt grateful for the timeframe he had been given. At least there was still a chance of him making it to the meeting on time, Maul was not always that merciful, it had to mean that he was in a good mood, despite the recent development of their plans. He refused to believe otherwise. 

It had taken him a while, but Anakin still reached his destination on time, just a few minutes early. He was still regaining his breath as he stepped into the abandoned building, a former office stripped bare to its walls, plasters falling off and folding over. The air was stale and so full of dust that it made him cough and while he was still fighting off the urge to fall into a coughing fit, he turned the flashlight of his phone on and slowly walked up to the second floor into what was a singular room, the dividing walls had long been torn down, now resting in pieces on the ground. 

Anakin strode towards the opposite side of the floor and turned his back to the wall, gaze fixed on the only entrance. There was a window right next him, wide and stained by years old dirt, but at least it shed some light into the otherwise dark room. He took his eyes off the door then and watched the dust in the ray of light move about and fall to the ground. Without being conscious of it, he reached out with his hand and opened his palm, observing the few particles that landed on his skin. He felt strangely calm in that moment, numb almost, completely indifferent to the situation he had found himself in. There was just this calm, deafening and blurring, a dense haze in his head.

The sudden sound of footsteps drawing closer echoed through the floor, the only thing that made it past this haze. It was the heavy tread of boots, so shrill and disruptive in the quiet peace of this removed place. It took away the calm and left fearful anticipation in its place. The approaching  _ clomp clomp _ of Maul’s footfall soon aligned itself with his heartbeat, a stringendo that resounded in his head, thrumming against his skull with a viciousness strong enough for it to ache. 

_ Please be in a good mood,  _ Anakin thought with some despair as he gripped the back of his neck and buried his fingers into his flesh, just enough to lessen the unbearable tension. 

“At least you have the decency to look the part of the guilty,” Maul hissed as he finally arrived on the second floor. There was still much distance between them and as Anakin lifted his eyes to look into his face, he felt thankful for every little inch between them. “When I know you well enough to know without a doubt that you don’t really feel even an ounce of guilt.”

Anakin dropped his hand from his neck and buried his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, fingers clenching at the thick fabric. He took a deep breath and tried to bolster himself up, his thoughts still came to him in a fog, it was difficult to fight off. "It's not my fault that Kenobi is too busy with politicians to spend time with me. At least he has been calling me regularly and he entrusted me with his heir, that has to mean something, right?" 

Maul nodded at him, lips pursed in a mocking manner, and crossed his arms behind his back as he slowly slandered over to him, steps lighter than before. When he stood only a few feet away from him, he glared at him, his eyes narrow and calculating. “His heir can become useful to us, so I do appreciate your efforts to befriend her,” he began, voice tight and low, "but now imagine how impressed I would have been with you, had Kenobi taken you with him instead of pushing you off to Tano. You are not at his side and each day that goes by like that only postpones all that I have in store for him. As much as I would have loved to be a patient man, I have been forced wait for too long for any patience to have survived, so don't talk to me about some calls, I need more from you, better!"

“I can’t force a bond between me and Kenobi, it takes time, time that you don’t want to give me. So how do you propose I speed things up?” Anakin pushed himself off the wall and dared to take a step closer to him, his irritation at the unfairness of it all helped him pull through the fear that came to him far too often and too easily. 

Maul’s lips twisted into a sharp smile. “I have just the right idea, but it will take a lot of work and careful maneuvering, we will have to wait for the right moment,” he said, smile growing into a grin full of teeth. “And if you succeed, I will bring you to your mother.”

Anakin’s eyes widened in surprise. Of all the the things he had expected him to say, this had never even been on his mind. He had thought that Maul would punish him by forbidding contact to her for another month, but now he had the chance to see her again, to take in her scent that reminded him of the home and safety he had only ever had with her. Oh, what he wouldn’t do to see her again, when every day without her left him feeling like he was only gasping for air, desperate and so hollow, unable to fill that void deep within.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, stepping even closer to him, burning alight now that he felt renewed with purpose, with hope.

Maul grabbed his shoulder, pressing the tips of his fingers tightly into his skin. “I want you to save him.”

* * *

Sunlight was filtering through the closed curtains, strong despite the cold weather, and warmed his face, tinging his sight in a bright red. He was neither awake or asleep, but stuck in between. The comfort he felt left him preferring sleep, it was seldom for him to sleep as good as he had this night, there had been no distracting pain or thoughts to keep him awake, just the exhaustion of a busy day dragging him under and allowing him rest without a moment of hesitation. It was a rare bliss to have and he meant to enjoy it for as long as possible, so he let his body sink even deeper into the mattress, his limbs weightless next to him.

The quiet of his suite was suddenly disturbed as the door was opened, slowly and without much noise, but it was loud enough for Anakin to notice. He instantly ripped his eyes open and rose from the bed, his heart began to race against his chest as he grabbed for a possible weapon and found the metal lamp at his bedside. His hand wound itself tightly around it and he stood up from his bed, blanket falling off his body, leaving him with only his boxers to cover up his skin. He stood unsteady on his feet, sleep was still clinging to his mind, clouding his vision. Trying to concentrate, Anakin squinted his eyes against the bright light and his sight slowly adjusted to the brightness, clearing enough to see the man who had broken into his suite. 

“Kenobi?” he stammered, voice rough and unused from sleep, and quickly grabbed for the blanket at his feet to cover himself up. 

“Yes?” Kenobi replied with a polite smile on his lips, eyes a bright and clear blue in the warm sunlight. He was wearing casual clothes, a dark grey pullover with a white shirt beneath and dark jeans, rather simple and comfortable, but it suited the man just fine and didn’t take away from his natural charisma at all. 

“You are back,” Anakin murmured, still somewhat dumbstruck, and approached the man, unsure if he was just conjuring him up, if this was just some form of lucid dreaming taken to the next level. He raised his hand and touched Kenobi, fingers ghosting along the hard lines of his upper arm, before he realized just what he was doing and quickly withdrew his hand. An apology was already on the tip of his tongue, but Kenobi interrupted him before he could voice it. 

“It’s fine,” Kenobi just said, calm and gentle. He laid his hand on Anakin’s shoulder, a small weight that helped him ground himself in the current. “It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other, hasn’t it?”

“A month.” Anakin looked at the hand on his shoulder and his gaze slowly slid along his arm back to Kenobi’s face to try and find any difference. Was he more stressed? Was he exhausted? Maybe even angry? But there was nothing, just the same face staring back at him, composed and poised, no strand of his hair was out of place, his beard was as well groomed as ever and his eyes showed the same clear and focused concentration. Maul had caused so much trouble for this man and he was still so in control of himself, not at all agitated when it was more than warranted. Maybe this was the reason why Maul was so obsessed, so mad and hungry for Kenobi’s attention, because Kenobi never gave him what he seeked, he never lost his face in front of his enemies. Anakin found himself wondering once again, just why Maul thought him capable enough to do what he had never succeeded at. It made no sense at all. 

“I know and I apologize for the time spent apart.”

Anakin furrowed his brows in confusion and cocked his head to the side. “You don’t have to apologize, you were just busy.”

“Still, I want to. To make it up to you, I will take you with me on a weekend trip, no business, no nothing, just the two of us, so pack some things and then we’ll leave right away. It will be a long drive, so dress yourself accordingly,” Kenobi said, taking his hand off his shoulder, and stepped back from him. His eyes slid down Anakin’s mostly naked body, before he spoke again. “I’ll wait outside.” 

Kenobi walked out of the suite, leaving him standing still and open mouthed in the middle of his room, blanket loose around his shoulders. He threw it back onto the bed and went to the bathroom, dazed and still confused, but he shook it off and quickly went into the shower. After he had refreshed himself, he stepped back into the mainroom and went to his wardrobe. He chose a black hoodie and black denim jeans for the drive and packed two more outfits into a bag. But before he went out of his suite, he took his phone into his hand and sent an encrypted message to Maul. He stared at the screen and waited a little, but when no reply came, he chose to leave. Kenobi had been waiting for him for more than long enough now.

* * *

  
  


With every second they drove father away from the city, Anakin became less restless and nervous. He felt almost weightless now, lightheaded and alive. Were it not for the heavy rain pouring down from above, he would have opened the window and enjoyed the sharp wind against his skin. He had always loved driving with high speed, he was free then with nothing to hold him back, with no bounds or limits stopping him. There was just him and the rush and unpredictability of a wild drive, when he was the one behind the wheel. But so much time had passed since he had last driven and he had no other to blame but himself. Had he just not crashed his beloved motorcycle beyond repair, he could have still been riding it. 

With a sigh, Anakin relaxed into his seat and leaned his head against the window, watching the blur of green and blue pass him by. It calmed him even further and he felt as if he could forget about all of his responsibilities, ignore what he would have to do, as if he could pretend that this was not a part of just the same trap after all. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, Anakin turned his gaze to Kenobi, trying to be as subtle as possible in his observation. Kenobi seemed just as relaxed as Anakin felt, driving with one arm while the other one was resting against the door, fingers loose around the steering wheel as he stared at the road ahead. As Anakin watched him drive, the urge to do so himself grew impossibly strong, so much that he felt a sudden emptiness in his chest. It had really been such a long time. He forced himself to face away and stare out of the window again.

“Is everything alright?” Kenobi asked.

No words had been exchanged until now, not even music played, they had chosen to settle into a comfortable silence. Hearing his somber voice now after all the quiet startled him for a short moment, but Anakin didn’t look away from the window, even as he finally answered in a lowered voice: “I just miss driving, that’s all.”

“You have a driver’s license?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Anakin replied and turned to him with a small smile on his lips that he couldn’t keep down. “And to answer your question, no, I don’t have one, but believe me when I say that I am the best driver around.”

Kenobi raised a brow and gave him a sceptical look before he turned his eyes back to the road. “I doubt that, but we’ll see.”

“You still haven’t told me where we’re headed,” Anakin said, now that they had broken their unspoken agreement to remain silent. 

"It's nothing crazy." 

"I find that hard to believe. You have somewhat of a pattern."

"A pattern?" 

Anakin nodded, but didn’t elaborate, he only turned his face to him and watched as Kenobi gave him a questioning look. “Did you really take me with you on this trip to make it up to me? There is so much going on right now, only yesterday Ahsoka and I worked ourselves to the bone, so how did you find the time for this?”

“Shall I tell you a secret?”

With furrowed brows, Anakin moved towards him, leaning on the armrest between them. “Tell me.”

“I know more than you think,” Kenobi said, face growing serious and stern. 

Anakin drew back a little and felt himself tense up, fingers digging into the leather of his seat. “What do you mean?” he asked carefully and tried to keep his voice even and calm. 

“I have a hunch about the person responsible for the recent troubles we’ve had to deal with.”

“A hunch?”

“Yes, I’ve lived through this before, I know this design.”

“Then why won’t you stop this madness once and for all?”

“I’ve tried it once, headed straight for the head, but it mattered not in the end and I ended up losing more than I gained. But it will be different this time,” Kenobi turned to him as he spoke and laid his hand on his knee, putting only a small amount of pressure on it. “I am a different man now.” 

Anakin dropped his gaze to the hand on his thigh, before he slowly looked up again at Kenobi’s face. There wasn’t much distance to be had in a sport car like this, it was narrow and put them closer than ever before and with Anakin still leaning on the armrest, that distance was cut even shorter. The touch, their proximity, neither of them felt intimidating in the slightest, it wasn’t uncomfortable and Anakin knew that it should at least bother him, but it didn’t. If anything, it was distracting, making it hard concentrate on the matter at hand, something Maul expected from him at all times, a cool head ready to analyse any change or reaction, but right now that was not something he was capable of, he was far from cool and closer to a low simmering heat. 

“Just be careful,” he whispered and averted his eyes, chest suddenly tight and constricted. 

* * *

  
  


Anakin stepped out of the car and almost fell over as the blood rushed to his numb legs, but he barely paid attention to it, his focus was entirely consumed by the sheer wondrous landscape around him. Although the sky was cloudy, the few rays of sunlight that shone through illuminated the vibrant green of the wide meadow, which came to an abrupt end at a cliff. Without waiting for Kenobi or even caring for his approval, Anakin rushed to the cliff, too curious to hold himself back. He stopped only when the front of his shoes stood at the very border and he was only one slight push away from falling into certain death, overpowered by the waves breaking over him, pulling him deep under the indigo water of the sea. A shuddering breath left him then and his heart began to hammer in his chest, as he imagined the the sharp cut of the wind, the free high of the fall and the inevitable collusion, how glorious it would feel in those few seconds before it all came to an end.

Only barely could he hear the stringent shout of his name, but it was enough to break him from the spell of the ocean beneath. Anakin fell back a few steps and turned around, noticing the small, but wellbuilt lodge to his right only now. He tore his gaze away from it and focused on the only other person present in this place. 

Kenobi didn’t approach him at first, standing several feet away from, and watched him with appalled eyes, brows tightly drawn together, before he dashed over to him, face growing into a heated glare. He came to a halt right in front of him and packed him by his arm, dragging him further away from the cliff and closer to the house. 

“Are you mad?” he asked once they were inside, voice deceivingly calm and collected. “One strong wind draft and you would have been gone.”

Anakin grabbed the hand still wrapped tightly around his arm and pulled it off himself. “There is no need to worry, I was just marveling at the sight, nothing too dangerous.”

“I’ll be the one to decide that, I won’t have you die while under my watch, so be careful in the future,” he said urgently, the hand that had been on his arm only a second ago now lied heavy on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, Sir,” Anakin conceded and continued with a smile, “I will do my best to refrain from risky behaviour in the future.”

“You are somewhat of a brat, aren’t you?” Kenobi countered, there was still a sour tinge to his face, but it was disappearing by the second. 

“I thought you knew that by now.” Anakin stepped away from him and looked around his new surroundings, taking in the rich brown of wood and the diluted, worn reds and blues of fabric, it was a cozy lodge, small and modest, not at all what he had expected. It made him feel peaceful and calm, the memory of his own cottage was much clearer here, now. 

“Still, I don’t want to see that kind of behaviour ever again. You may enjoy the view, but do so with at least a meter distance.”

“Will do so, Sir,” he said, facing the man again. 

Kenobi only shook his head and gave a tired sigh. “I will light up the fireplace. You can go into your room and settle in. It’s over there.” He pointed his finger at a door. 

When Anakin returned to the living room, the fire was already strong and radiant, moving in tandem to a melody he was not privy to. Kenobi was sitting in front of it on the ground, leaning against the couch behind him, one leg drawn close to his chest. His eyes were closed and his face was so serene in that moment, as if he was basking in the warmth that the fire radiated. Anakin averted his eyes, this moment seemed too private, too personal for him to witness. 

“Come here,” Kenobi called out, patting the space beside him, eyes opening only after he had finished talking. 

Anakin slowly slandered over to him and dropped down to the ground, right next to him. As he settled into a more comfortable position, Kenobi suddenly leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees as he threw a searching look back at him. 

“What is this place?” Anakin asked, throwing his arm on the couch, now that Kenobi wasn’t leaning against it anymore.

“A place to retreat,” Kenobi began. “My father used to take me with him whenever there was a free weekend, as rare as it was. He always said that he could think more clearly here, far removed from the turbulences of the city. So high up on this cliff, overview is much easier to gain,” Kenobi said with a wistful expression, just as Anakin was beginning to think that no answer would come. He turned his face back to the fire and the flickering light gave Kenobi’s face depth and shadows that had never been there before, it was beautiful to watch. 

“Why would you take me to somewhere so precious?” Anakin whispered, silent enough for the crackling of the burning wood to drown out his voice. 

“You always seem so tense. Whenever I look at you, you appear to be so deeply engrossed with your own thoughts, that you barely live in the moment. I hope this place will give you a bit of the clarity and solace my father always received here.”

Anakin moved away from him, trying to catch his breath, and felt his face grimace. He had been worse at acting than he had thought. Dropping his head, he palmed his face and played Kenobi’s words again and again in his head. Just why was this man so different, so inscrutable? He behaved so out of his own expectations, how was he supposed to manipulate him, to fool him? He felt as if he was the one who was being played around with. Ire rose in him, hot and sharp, it made him grit his teeth and glare straight ahead, eyes fixed on the volatile flame. Kenobi had no right to treat him like this, all his niceties just made him distrust that man even more. Anakin would not be made a fool of. 

“Did you forget? I told you that you are under my care and I was being very remiss in taking care of you this last month. I mean to rectify that,” Kenobi told him softly, still watching the fire, not even sparing a glance in his direction as he said such outrageous words. 

His words came as a punch to him, kicking out his anger to leave nothing but confusion behind. This was too much, too soon, it made it all so much more awful. Anakin wanted to escape this conversation, to stand up and run away, but he found himself unable to do so as he stared at this man who was still a stranger to him. He truly wanted to draw away from him, he did, but why did he move even closer? Was he so starved for affection that he would even take it from his enemy? It seemed so and Anakin felt the hot rush of shame in that moment, just why was he so weak in the face of such apparent manipulation? Because that's just what this was, a ploy to lure him in even deeper. 

“I never needed someone to take care of me,” Anakin bit out, clinging to whatever shred of his anger was left.

“But is it so wrong to have someone? To want it? Because I'm more than willing to give that to you, to be that someone, you only need to ask and I will deliver. Trust me on this.”

Anakin almost snickered, he had to bite his lips to keep it back. "You speak in riddles, always hinting at something, but you never say what you mean directly. It's hard to read you and yet you want me to trust you. Is it not enough for you to know that I simply want to stand at your side? If you are so willing to take care of me, then let me be a part of your life. Show me the rooms that no one else was allowed into."

"Fine," Kenobi turned his face to him, eyes burning into him as they stared at each other. He came near, face only one breath away, so incredibly close that they shared each other's air. Anakin could smell the heady spice of his perfume, could feel the heat of him, they were just so close. "I will give you what you want. You will move out of the hotel and live with me."


	3. Aback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a monster and I was in a very particular mood when I wrote this. There are just so many tropes... I went all out. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy and tell me what you think!
> 
> PS: I was too lazy to include a link, but do yourself a favor and google 'hayden christensen louis vuitton', it was a very important inspiration for this chapter.

###  _ 8 years ago _

_ It was late at night, so late that the streets were almost empty and silent except for the low hum of a few cars passing by. Anakin was beyond tired, eyelids so heavy that he could barely keep them from falling close, and he knew just from the stiff and slow way his mother was walking that she was worse off than him. He hated it when she had to pull extra hours at work just because some asshole made a mess of the floor and she had to start all over again, it just wasn’t fair.  _

_ “Mum, let me take that,” he said as they waited at a traffic light, and reached out for her heavy bag. “I am younger than you, so I should carry it.” _

_ “I already said no, Anakin, it’s not as heavy as it looks and we’re almost home anyway. And don’t think I didn’t notice that you are already half asleep,” she replied and turned to him to palm his face, sliding her fingers across the bags under his eyes. “I’m sorry it took so long today.” _

_ “Don’t be, mum,” Anakin whispered, “it’s not your fault and I’m not that tired anyway.”  _

_ “It’s not even weekend yet,” she said, facing forward to the traffic light and he could hear just how agitated she truly was from the way her voice broke, she looked so conflicted.  _

_ Anakin averted his eyes, not knowing what he could say to comfort her, and became more and more angry as the light just refused to turn green. He gave an irritated sigh and kicked against the ground before turning to the side. At the very periphery of his vision, he thought he could make out the outline of a man, but as he tried to focus on the place where had seen it, there was nothing but an empty sidewalk, so he turned back to the street and saw the traffic light finally turn green. He linked arms with his mother and crossed the street, discarding what he had seen as nothing but his tired mind playing tricks on him.  _

_ He let himself be even further lulled by his own lethargy and followed his mother mindlessly, only enough strength left to to take one step after the other. They moved farther away from the main streets and reached their district, a place full of apartment complexes that had been past their prime for decades by now. Anakin let go of his mother’s arm and fell back a few steps, eyes averted so that he was only watching her feet move in front of him while listening to the click clack of her shoes.  _

_ His mother turned the corner and was gone from his sight for little more than a moment. Anakin began to walk faster and just as he entered the narrow alleyway, he caught a glimpse of the shadow of a man, he came to a halt then and couldn’t take his eyes off the stranger. In the darkness, he could barely make out his features, but still his outline alone worked to frighten him, there was just something menacing about that stranger, standing so unmoving and stiff in the dark. It made him hurry up into the alleyway, wanting nothing else but to return to his mother’s side.  _

_ In his rush to get to his mother, he was only able to see her and nothing else, standing in the middle of the road. He ran up to her and grabbed her hand. “Mum, I saw-” he gasped out, out of breath, but stopped as he noticed her stiff and fearful face, he followed her wide-eyed gaze and found the cause for her fright. Three large men, standing tall and ominously in front of them, were blocking their way back home. Their lower faces were concealed by scarfs, but the glare in their eyes was enough to let him know that they had nothing but bad intentions.  _

_ His mother tightened her grip on his hand and pulled him backwards, hiding him behind her back, but he refused to be hidden and watched them, his fear and anger was so strong that he could barely keep himself from flipping out. “What do you want?” she said, voice strained but strong.  _

_ The men remained silent, completely silent, they didn’t even react to her words, they just stared at her, their gazes unflinching. Anakin pulled at his mother’s hand to try and gain her attention, but she was steadfast and returned their stares. She rummaged in her bag and took out her purse. “Will you let us pass? We are not worth the trouble, there is nothing of worth with us, so just let us go and take this,” his mother said without even a tremor to her voice and took out all the money in her purse. She gave him a quick look back, face tense and Anakin could see how worried she was, she was just as afraid as him, she just didn’t show it as clearly as he must be doing.  _

_ The man in the middle, the tallest out of the three, nodded at her and took the money out of her hand, signalling the others to move to the side and make space for them to leave. They followed his order and slowly stepped to the side, all the while not taking their eyes off his mother. _

_ She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer to herself, only then did she start to move forward, holding onto him so tightly that it hurt. Anakin looked up at her to catch her gaze, but she was still staring forward, face painfully stoic. Her steps grew rushed the moment they stepped past the men.  _

_ Anakin gave a silent sigh of relief and dared to take look back, just in time to see one of the man dart forward, arm already outstretched to grab at his mother. Anakin immediately threw himself in front of him to block his attack and tried to push him away, but he was too weak. The man only had to slap him across his face for him to stumble back and fall to the ground, head pounding after the severe hit.  _

_ “Ani!” his mother screamed out and dropped her bag, rushing over to him, only for one of the men to wound his arms around her, locking her in as she struggled against his hold.  _

_ Anakin stood up, fighting the arising nausea, and in his quest to reach her, he shoved past the other thieves. They allowed him to pass through, they even allowed him to run over to her, but as he finally came close to his mother, close enough to see the fear clear and vivid on her face, to hear it from her breathing, fast and shallow. As he came so near that he was able to clutch at the stranger’s hands on her body, he was pulled back and thrown against the opposite wall. A crack resounded as his head hit the hard asphalt, but he barely heard it, he couldn’t even feel the pain fully, there was just the strong sense of vertigo and terror ravaging through his mind, leaving nothing in its wake but the mindlessness of a prey caught between its predator’s teeth.  _

_ Without waiting for the nausea to vanish, without waiting for his pain to pass and become bearable, he attempted to stand up again and managed to get up to his knees, head hanging low, eyes only seeing grey, muted and dark. He forced himself to tilt his head up and searched for his mother, finding her lying on the ground, arms raised above her face as the men kicked against her, merciless and relentless as she screamed again and again for them to stop. _

_ “Mum!” he shouted, voice breaking into a sob in his despair. He used the wall behind him to rise to his feet, but he only got that far and was once again kicked to the ground. His face laid on the cold, rough ground and he could do nothing but watch as their feet and fists descended upon his mother, nothing at all, body held down by the heavy weight of his assailant. He tried to crawl away, buried his fingers into the unrelenting asphalt and pulled and pulled and did not even move an inch in the end, when she was only an arm’s reach away, almost close enough to touch. Almost, but not enough.  _

_ His mother’s pained groans and hisses echoed through the dark alleyway, tearing into his very being. How could they hurt her like this? How, when she hadn’t done anything? They had just wanted to go home, they had wanted nothing but to return home, so why was this happening? Why? And why was he so weak, so completely useless in the face of her agony? Why couldn’t he be the one to suffer through their brutal assault? Just why couldn’t he protect her?  _

_ A shuddering breath escaped him as he let go of the tension, feeling his body give in to the unyielding pressure on his back. His eyes saw nothing but her blood seeping into the ground beneath, spreading more and more, coming ever closer to him, until he could feel it on his fingertips. He felt his eyes widen, felt as his body froze over, falling further into paralysis, and he watched the same happen to her. She was so still. Out of a sudden, no sound had come from her, her arms had fallen down next to her now unmoving body. No, no, no, he screamed into himself, his struggles renewed as the severity of the situation dawned on him, he was going to lose her, he was going to watch her die right in front of his eyes and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, nothing at all.  _

_ Again and again, he called out for his mother, growing more and more quiet, voice becoming subdued and silenced, until it was nothing but a whisper, a slow breath into thin air. It didn’t offer him the comfort, the strength to endure as it always had, it just mangled whatever hope there was, there was no way out of this terror, no way to undo the damage already done. There was no return now. Violence was inevitable, destruction final and time unbendable.  _

_ In his delirium, in this bottomless despair, he only registered the sound of a heavy, but slow footfall when it was already dangerously close. Not even a second later, he saw boots right in front of his eyes, large and black. Anakin looked from the ground and saw a stranger stare back at him, his gaze was cold, assessing and his distant curiosity made Anakin feel inhuman, animal almost. Still, he knew this man hadn’t been in the alleyway before, he was new to the scene, and maybe, just maybe he would help his mother, so he begged with his eyes, he gave him what he was so curious about, showed him all his pain, all his shame.  _

_ The stranger gave him a curt nod and walked away from him, hand moving to the back of his jeans. Anakin saw the flash of a gun, but the man didn’t take it out, not yet at least. The foot that had been holding him down vanished and he watched as one of the brutes moved to attack the stranger, but his attack was too slow, the stranger had already drawn his gun and shot him down and just like that, he was taken out, his body fell to the ground. Anakin crawled over to the wall and sat up, leaning against it as stared at the dead man. It had been so easy, so effortless to kill him and Anakin had struggled to even move an inch beneath his feet. Only as the bang of two more shots blared through the alleyway did he take his eyes off his defeated tormentor.  _

_ One more was dead, one was still alive, crawling the same way he had been forced to, pleas falling from his lips, the same as his, and he watched him and felt nothing but hate, now that his fear was muted, laid to rest by the sudden arrival of this stranger. His hate helped him up to his feet, it gave him the needed strength to walk over to the monster that was still alive, as undeserved as his life was.  _

_ The stranger approached him, he stood right at his back and leaned over to him. “You want to kill him yourself, don’t you?” the stranger whispered into his ear, dark and enticing. He grabbed Anakin’s hand and opened his palm, laying his gun in his hand. “I left him alive, just for you. It’s your duty to avenge her. You must always take your revenge against those that dare to take what is yours. Revenge is the highest order, it is nature itself.” _

_ The gun lied heavy in his hand, a grounding weight. He looked at it, it was plain, black and without any distinct features, but it had the power to do what he had been unable to.  _

_ “You only have to aim and pull the trigger,” the man drawled on and grabbed both of his shoulders, standing right behind him. “Do it, kill him.” _

_ Anakin wound his hand around the handle and put his finger against the trigger, numb and blunt. He raised the gun and aimed it at the cowering monster, he slowly pulled the trigger as he stared right into his wide eyes, begging him for the mercy neither he or his mother had been granted. The gun discharged, the shot went straight through the head, and its recoil pushed him back, but the grip on his shoulders held him steady and allowed him to witness each moment of the man’s death. He saw his vacant eyes, unnatural now that they were not moving, and saw nothing but emptiness in them and he wondered if it belonged to the dead or if was just a reflection of his own numbness.  _

_ “Well done, my boy, well done. You are a natural,” the stranger praised him and tightened his hold on his shoulder before letting go completely.  _

_ Anakin stumbled back, now that there was nothing to hold him in place, and he tore his gaze away from the man he had killed, not out remorse, but because there was nothing left to see, nothing to make him feel anything. As he moved farther away from him, his gaze fell to his mother, at her wounds, at the bruises all over her body, all her blood, he could barely recognise her. What had they done to her?  _

_ He ran over to her and fell to his knees, hand already moving to her face, he brushed her hair back and waited for her to react, to open her eyes, to move at all, but she didn’t, she didn’t do anything but lie on the cold, hard asphalt. He bent over her body and put his arms around her, clinging to her as if he could put life back into her, if he just tried hard enough. He looked back at the stranger, who stood at his side, giving him the same cold and observing expression as before. “You have to save her,” he pleaded, his sight blurry from all his tears, he was choking on his own sobs. “Please I’m begging you! Save her and I’ll do anything for you. Just save her, please, please, please!” _

_ The stranger smiled at him and kneeled down, so that they were face to face. He removed Anakin's arms from his mother and brushed his tears away. “Of course I will help you, I will do anything in my power to save her, but you must know that my help never comes for free. You will have to pay a price.” _

_ “Anything,” he repeated, softly caressing his mother’s face as he spoke.  _

_ “From this day on, your life belongs to me.” _

* * *

  
  


Anakin had formed somewhat of a truce with Kenobi after his first week at his apartment had revealed itself to be quite a bit of a disaster. His move to his apartment had had a rocky start to begin with and it only went downhill from there. It was just that Kenobi was a very particular man when it came to the upkeep of his living space, there were so many rules, Anakin had been doomed from the very beginning to breaking at least one of them a day. It was simply impossible to follow each one of them, impossible to even remember them all and Kenobi could be so stubbornly strict about it, it was infuriating. The only thing that kept Anakin from engaging in a screaming match was the fact that he was here undercover and not out of his own volition. In the end, their truce had resulted in Anakin having one room to himself that he could keep however he liked, within reasonable limits as per Kenobi’s words, while the rest of the apartment was still subjected to all of those annoying rules. 

Then the second week had come to pass and they had settled into a routine with much less tension. The fact that they spent even less time at home now that Kenobi was busy extending his territory in the west, all the while defending his existing borders, probably only helped. It was a very stressful time and Anakin noticed that it was chipping away at Kenobi’s immense patience. 

That second week was over now and Anakin was faced with a very angry Kenobi who looked one second away from murdering him on the spot. He should be fearing for his life, he should probably cower and find a place to hide from his wrath, but he just stood still and watched Kenobi, gaze fixed on his face that was twisted in his ire, eyes alight and burning as they stared right into him. The intensity of his gaze made Anakin’s skin tingle and warmth uncoil in the pit of his stomach. Instead of shaking in fear, he seemed to shiver with excitement and Anakin truly, from the bottom of his heart, did not even want to question or examine why.

“I come home, exhausted and already irritated, and find dirty footprints in the foyer, dishes in the sink and clothes on the bathroom floor and the only thing you tell me is that you were going to clean up before you were interrupted by my arrival,” he spoke without raising his voice, he didn’t need to, he only had to say each word with enough force and precision for it to cut the same way as if he had been screaming. “Are you really that eager to make me regret taking you in?”

Anakin cast his face down. “Of course not, Sir,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, Sir. I will not repeat this behaviour.”

Kenobi shook his head and walked past him into his bedroom without dignifying his apology with a response. Anakin didn’t move an inch from his position, stuck where he had been left alone, and waited for him to return, restless and on edge with anticipation. 

It took Kenobi 20 minutes to come out of his room. His hair was wet from his shower, darkened and hanging over his forehead, and he was still drying it off with a towel, already dressed in his pyjamas, silky and beige. He moved about in the living room, pointedly ignoring Anakin, and prepared cleaning utensils which he dropped right in front of his feet. “I want you to wipe the whole floor down, it want it to  _ shine  _ and once you’re done, you can do the dishes. I won’t have you disobeying my house rules any longer, do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” Anakin replied with a sigh, his face dismayed as he looked down at the cleaning supplies. He looked up again, but Kenobi had already stepped away from him and walked to his couch, where he sat down and opened his TV. Anakin huffed at him and grabbed the mob, feeling the urge to hit him over the head with it. This was so unfair! He began to work with some reluctance and slowly lost himself to the monotony of cleaning, all the while seething with anger, at the situation, at Kenobi and most of all at himself. 

He had already moved to the kitchen, when he heard the doorbell ring, a shrill sound that broke through his boredom. Quickly setting the cleaning utensils to the side, he rushed to the door, hoping for a rescue out of his boring task. There was only one person allowed to visit them at this place, at this late hour, and as he opened the door, he was not disappointed. 

Ahsoka stood in front of him with a wide grin on her face and lifted a plastic bag full of snacks. She pushed him to the side and entered right away, dropping down next to Kenobi on the couch. He joined them a moment later and slowly approached Kenobi from the side, waiting for him to release him from his miserable work. 

Kenobi instantly recognised his bid and narrowed his eyes at him. “Fine,” he said, leaning back into the couch to gain a better view of Anakin. “But finish the kitchen first. I don’t like it when things are only done halfway.”

Anakin nodded and quickly returned to his work, rushing through the room to finish as fast as possible. He returned not even 10 minutes later and found Kenobi and Ahsoka deeply immersed in conversation. 

“What is going on?” he asked, after seeing the tension on Ahsoka’s face, she looked downright worried. 

“I received some good news… or bad, it depends on how you look at it, but it’s useful information no matter what,” Ahsoka answered and turned to him, her arm on the backrest. 

Anakin rounded the couch and settled on the carpet, right next to the coffee table where the snacks had already been opened. “What information?” he said, gaze fixed on the bag of chips. He was beyond curious, it had to be important for her to show up like this, unannounced and spontaneous. 

“You know I’ve spread my informants out throughout the city, they are everywhere, in every corner, on every street. One of them got lucky and caught wind of a plan in the making. Obi-Wan here will be attending a very important ball on the weekend, full of pretentious politicians, businessmen and our fellow colleagues, his attendance there is public knowledge. There are rumours that someone is planning an attack on our dear boss.”

“Aren’t there always such rumours? Especially now that he has been under attack for months. How can we know it’s true for sure? Wouldn’t this be too obvious of a choice?” Anakin replied, incredulous and genuinely surprised, Maul had not contacted him in over a week, he hadn’t been told that Maul had already chosen a place and date for his next move. Anakin bit the inside of his mouth, battling against his rising frustration. How dare he not tell him about his plan? How, when Anakin was the main instigator, this was ridiculous! Even with all his anger and rightful frustration, even knowing it was in vain, he still felt the need to at least try to dispel their belief in this rumour. “What does this even change? Weren’t you going to put up protection anyway?”

“Of course we were, but maybe this the perfect chance to retaliate. Prey on the predator when he is busy hunting his own prey and all that,” Ahsoka said, far too excited, but he could understand her, she had been forced to lay low for awhile now, not allowed to act out against Maul, she had been waiting for this for so long now, of course she jumped at the chance to finally do something about the raids. “I’ll be there in the background with a few of my men, you won’t even see me. You will be accompanying Obi-Wan. If this is a fluke, we’ll have lost nothing, but if it’s not, we will at least have the chance to defend ourselves.”

“You’re so quiet, what do you think, Kenobi?” he asked, after he had pondered on her words for awhile, and fixed his gaze on him. 

“What do I think?” Kenobi repeated as he stroked his beard slowly. “I’m a bit saddened that I could not officially invite you to the ball myself since I was too mad today to ask, but I will have to make do and accept it as it is.”

Anakin gave him a deadpan look. “I would have said no.”

“You would have said yes, don’t fool yourself,” Kenobi countered and leaned over to the table, grabbing the bag of chips Anakin had been eyeing the whole time, and ate a few of them. “And I already have set aside just the perfect outfit for you, you will have to come.”

Anakin looked away for a short moment, feeling flustered under his scrutinizing stare. “So you really still want to go?” he said, in attempt to evade the direction their conversation had taken. 

“Of course I will, I always do. This business is run on connections and the moment I withdraw from these public outings, those connections will only be weakened. I’m not afraid either, I have been shot at, I have been stabbed, I survived a lot, you see. I will not die this weekend and I won’t have anyone thinking that they can drive me into a corner, I will not give into these  _ threats _ .” He said the last sentence with so much disdain, so much venom to his voice that Anakin couldn’t help but shudder. 

“That’s the spirit!” Ahsoka chimed in, gone was the tension or the worry Anakin had thought to see on her face, there was just glee now and ambition. “We’ll finally have something fun to do, no more beating up goons, no more patrolling transports, just a good old confrontation, if we’re lucky enough.”

“I wouldn’t get my hopes up so much, Ahsoka,” Anakin muttered, brows furrowed as he stared down at his hands. Maul was not going to show himself, he knew so much at least, even if they had not yet exchanged their plans. “Don’t let your frustration cloud your judgement, we’re far from solving this problem.”

She only rolled her eyes at him and stood up from the couch, looking down at his sitting form from above. “I won’t.”

“Where was this wisdom when you decided to test my patience and left my apartment in utter chaos?” Kenobi raised a brow at him, keeping his face blank at first, before an amused smile graced his lips. “You really are only mature when it suits your needs.”

“And what about it?” Anakin replied, tilting his head to the side. “I faced my punishment already, you should stop holding it over my head, it’s in bad taste.”

“As much as it hurts me to interrupt your bickering, I will have to excuse myself, I’m too tired to suffer through this,” she said, already on her way to the apartment door. She was gone before they could even say goodbye. 

“I’m tired too,” he said quietly, eyes still on the door. “I’ll go to sleep.” He waited until Kenobi nodded at him, before he went into his bedroom. He was already nervous as he rummaged his bedside cabinet for his phone, hands sweaty and twitchy. Why hadn’t Maul called him yet? What was he planning? Anakin needed answers, he needed them right now, before he went mad with anxiety. 

So Anakin called him, he sent him message after message, he waited the whole night, unable to close his eyes for even a second, he went mad just as he had known he would, and received absolutely nothing but radio silence. He was one second away from grabbing his phone and throwing it against the wall, but he held himself back, thinking, hoping,  _ what if he calls me back? _

He did not. 

* * *

  
  


In the blink of an eye, the days had passed and Saturday had rolled on, bringing with it all his piled up tension, an anxiousness that had him gritting his teeth all day. This was torture, plain and simple, to have nothing to do but to wait the entire day, watching the hours pass him by. If at least Kenobi had been with him, he would have been able to endure this, but Anakin had woken up to a note telling him to stay at home and an empty apartment. Having nothing else to do, he had gone back to his bed, once again unable to fall asleep, his agitated mind denied him any form of rest. 

Anakin was still lying on his bed, limbs stretched out, and held his phone in his hand, the weight of it a constant reminder that he had still not received a message. But he was so sick of waiting for a reply, of checking his phone again and again to find  _ nothing, _ he had to stop, he had to repress any and all thoughts about it and try to function on his own. No matter what would happen today, no matter what Maul would throw at him, he would be prepared for it, he had no other choice. 

Throwing a quick glance at the clock above his door, he realized that only one hour was left for Kenobi’s return from whatever suspicious activity he had left him alone for. Anakin rolled onto his back and threw his phone away from him, he wanted that thing out of his sight. 

A sigh escaped him, long and from somewhere deep within, he wanted to rid himself of this tension, to relax and now that his hands were unoccupied, he began to glide his fingertips across his stomach, a featherlight touch, tingling softly. He drew circle after circle on his skin and revelled in the simple comfort of being touched, even if it was by his own hand. It was still a well needed distraction and maybe if he went further, he could bridge over the remaining time to Kenobi’s arrival. 

His fingers slipped lower as he eyed the clock again, there was more than enough time left to relax even further, to allow himself a little bit of pleasure. He pulled his loose pants and boxers lower with his hands and shuffled out of them until he was completely nude. He skimmed through the course hair at the base of his cock, but didn’t take it into his hand, he was content as it was, teasing himself with almost touches. With his other hand, he slowly moved his fingers up his stomach to come to rest at his chest, grazing against the pink nub of his nipple, too soft to harden it, but with just enough pressure to feel its touch. Anakin kept up this little game, refusing to indulge himself even more and focused on nothing but all the different sensations offered by his skin, trying but failing to keep his mind blank and empty, unbidden images danced in front of his eyes, visions of heated blue eyes, thin lips set tight in anger, the tension in those arms.

This was more than enough. Not crossing, but rather toeing the line and playing with it left him more relaxed and content than the intensity of a desperate and fast orgasm could ever manage. And when his teasing almost got the better of him, when he found himself so close to that edge, his cock slowly filling, he stopped once and for all, falling back into the mattress, not even pent up, but rather satiated. 

He breathed out slowly and felt drowsy for the first time since last night, but his time was already up and he swiftly stood up from his bed, rushing into the bathroom to quickly wash his body. Once he stepped out of the bathroom and into the foyer, he walked right into Kenobi, accidently hitting the man with his shoulder as he passed him by. 

“Your outfit for tonight is already in your bedroom. Call me if you need help. I will be changing into my own outfit as well,” Kenobi said, straight to the point, and before Anakin could even properly look at the man, he was gone.

Anakin shrugged and pursed his lips, maybe they were in a strict time frame. He went back to his bedroom and closed the door gently before he turned around and risked a look at the blue bag probably containing his outfit. He moved to his bed and slowly opened the bag, revealing black fabric.

His eyes widened in awe as his gaze slid across the outfit. It was a tuxedo with satin facing on the lapels and a thin satin bead down the pant leg. The buttons on the white shirt were slim and dark and white fabric jutted out of the pocket trim of the jacket. Kenobi truly outdid himself. When he took the shirt and pants into his hand and carefully put them on, he noticed that there was no tie, but a fly. He took it into his hand and stared down at it, he had no idea how he was supposed to put it on. It seemed that he had no other choice but to ask Kenobi for advice and so he called out for him, voice loud enough to be heard throughout the whole apartment. 

Kenobi appeared not a minute later, knocking once before he entered, wearing a slim fitting black three piece suit with a wine red shirt and a fitting paisley tie. It looked perfect on him, beautiful and refined even, if Anakin was being honest. When Kenobi noticed the fly in Anakin's hand, he gave him a knowing smile and approached him, taking it away from him. He took a step closer and raised his arms and wound them around his neck as he tied the fly. Anakin averted his eyes and tried to breathe shallowly as he felt Kenobi’s touch on his skin, gentle and short lasting. He was done way too quickly, backing away just as Anakin grew used enough to his proximity to not have goosebumps running down his spine. But then Kenobi suddenly ran his hand through Anakin’s hair, moving a strand between his fingers. Anakin waited with bated breath, not knowing exactly what for or why he was putting up with this behaviour.

“Do me a favor and slick your hair back, I want it to look immaculate, just as the rest of your outfit,” Kenobi said, tone commanding as he let go of his hair. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

Anakin watched him leave, baffled and open mouthed. Just what was going on? There was so much confusion in him, both at Kenobi’s actions and his own reactions to them. It should bother him how ready to yield he was, whenever Kenobi was involved, but it didn’t, instead he found himself in the bathroom, once again busy complying to his wishes.

When he was done, he rushed out of the apartment and quickly went outside. His eyes immediately fell on Kenobi, who was leaning against his car. “Almost perfect,” he said and beckoned him over with his fingers. Anakin walked up to him and stood still, waiting for Kenobi’s criticism. But instead of criticizing him, Kenobi grabbed for the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a pair of black leather gloves, thick and tight fitting from the look of it. 

Kenobi took his hands into his, but he didn’t look down at their intervened hands, his gaze was fixed on nothing but his face. His thumb moved across his palm, before he let go and slowly draped the gloves over his hands, all the while maintaining eye contact with him. “Now we’re ready to go,” he said with a secretive smile on his lips.

“Am I allowed to take them off?” he asked, voice rough and airy at the same time.

“No,” Kenobi simply answered, caressing the smooth leather of the gloves. 

Anakin could only nod his head numbly, any form of coherency had been taken from him, he was completely lost in a whirlwind of confusing sensations and Kenobi stood at the very center of it. 

* * *

  
  


When they finally arrived at the city theatre, Anakin had no eyes for the grand and no doubt ostentatious building, the sky was much too beautiful to look at anything else, especially now that pink streaks of light were shining through the few elongated clouds as the sun was setting. Who in their right mind would look at something else when faced with such beauty?

“Anakin,” Kenobi said sharply, pulling him back to the present, and held out his hand. “Come along, we’re already late as it is.”

Anakin rounded the car and took the offered hand into his. “So this is why you dressed me up,” he whispered as he leaned down to Kenobi’s ear, “you want to show me off.”

Raising a brow, Kenobi smiled at him and let go of his hand, opting instead to link arms with him. He stayed silent all the way to the entry, only facing forward with a steely gaze, nothing of his smile remained. “Don’t talk to anyone, don’t engage in any conversations. Stay in my sight, silent, but watchful.”

Anakin swallowed down the urge to snap back at him and gave him a curt nod, forcing a little smile on his lips. He felt incredulous at the kind of situation he had found himself in, chastised like some unruly child, reduced to playing some sort of trophy. What had his life come to? Well, if that was his part to play for the night, he would give it his best. He straightened his back and kept his posture poised, willing himself to exude the same aloof aura as the man beside him. This might not be his typical scene, he was clearly an outsider, an imposter even, but that mattered little in the end, he was the one who stood next to Obi-Wan Kenobi and that alone placed him above the majority of the guests present. 

Anakin turned his face to Kenobi and found him already looking back at him. They stared at each other, standing still in the foyer. “Don’t forget the direness of our situation, be prepared for any disturbance, at any time,” Kenobi said in a lowered voice, facing forward again, and began to walk on, entering the ballroom with Anakin following right behind him. 

More than a few heads turned at their arrival and hushed whispers resounded. Looking at all those pretentious people that were now swarming around them, waiting for the right moment to approach, Anakin gave a resigned sigh, thinking that this night was going to be a nightmare. 

* * *

  
  


Kicking against the railing of the balcony, Anakin gave an annoyed huff, increasingly angry at the fact that he was still stuck at this place. Two hours had gone to waste, spent trying to concentrate in spite of the mind altering boredom. 

Had it not been for that bald woman who had snagged Kenobi right from his side with her playful, but poignant jabs, he wouldn’t have ended up alone and deserted at a strange place, left to his own devices with no clue as to what he was even supposed to be doing. She had been so infuriatingly arrogant, ignoring him from the very beginning to the bitter end of their short lived meeting. There was such a terrifying beauty to her, everything about her was sharp, cutting, but elegant to a fault and the effect she had on Kenobi had been so easy to see, he had become more animated the moment they had locked eyes. 

So Anakin had done the only sensible thing a third wheel could do, he had left them alone and escaped to the balcony, watching the pair dance from a safe distance where he wasn't forced to control his expressions. Where one pushed, the other pulled, they moved in tandem, fitting in all the right places. They were both unbelievably talented dancers that even if Anakin's job hadn't been to watch Kenobi, he wouldn't have been able to take his eyes off him anyway, not when he moved like that.

The sudden vibration of his phone pulled him out of his bitter musings. Anakin quickly took it out of his pocket and opened the display, entering his password right away.  _ There will be warning shots this evening,  _ it read. He tightened his grip on his phone and swiftly deleted the message, before forcefully putting it back into his pants.  _ God, _ what a damn  _ bastard! _ Could he not once inform him of his plans beforehand? Was it that difficult? Anakin knew as much as Ahsoka and Kenobi did, that just couldn't be right! Maul owed it to him to give him more details, what was this even supposed to mean? A warning shot? But when exactly and where? It seemed that Maul thought him unworthy of knowing such important details, it wasn't like he was actually the one involved most in this ploy of his. 

Anakin turned around, facing away from the ballroom, and tightly gripped the railing of the balcony, leaning forward on it as he stared at nothing at all, blinded by his own anger. It was in that moment that a hand grabbed him by his shoulder and pulled him away from the railing, turning him back around in the interim and Anakin let himself be manhandled, already knowing to whom the hand holding him belonged.

“Did Ahsoka send you a message?” Kenobi asked, brows furrowed as he stared at him. There was a slight sheen of sweat and a flush to his skin, but that was to expected when one danced with such… passion.

Anakin shrugged his shoulders and averted his eyes. “No, I just checked the time. It’s really late already,” he said lamely, too agitated still by Maul's words to think of something better to say.

Kenobi tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at him before he raised his arm and checked the time on his own watch. “You’re right and we’re almost ready to leave.”

“Almost?” Anakin replied, forehead creasing in his confusion. “What is there left to do?”

With a teasing grin, Kenobi reached out with his hand and opened his palm invitingly. “One last dance and we’re ready to go.”

Anakin opened his mouth, more than ready to reject his offer, mortified by the idea alone. He was not a good dancer at all, much too stiff and overwhelmed, and to do it in front of a crowd made up of rich, snobby people was another deal on its own. 

“You will,” Kenobi simply said, interrupting him before he even had the chance to speak. “No objections!”

“When you said you would have me do things far worse than ever before,” Anakin began, grabbing the outstretched hand with more force than warranted, “this is what you meant, right?”

Kenobi ignored him and lead him back into the ballroom, walking not to the center, but to a corner, somewhere more private, well, as private as an open space like this could be. Anakin wrapped his arm around the man’s waist and tried to move into a more appropriate position. Kenobi laid one hand on his shoulder and held Anakin’s with the other, stepping closer to him as he did so, until their chests were almost touching, and then they began to move and Anakin had no idea what the hell he was doing. This was just ridiculous, Kenobi could be in mortal danger any second and here he was, dancing his worries away and Anakin might or might not have been abandoned by his boss. 

“Just relax, listen to the music,” Kenobi whispered into his ear, leaning further forward as he spoke. “Follow my lead, focus on nothing but me, us.”

Anakin took a deep breath and faced away from the man he was dancing with. “Do you tell that all your dance partners?”

“Anakin,” Kenobi replied in a chiding tone. “Calm down and do as I say. You may even end up enjoying this and wanting more, if you allow yourself to, that is.”

“I doubt that,” he murmured, too quiet to be heard by anyone else but himself. In spite of his strong aversion, he forced his limbs to relax and closed his eyes, focusing on nothing but the body in front of him, its movement, its heat and tried to fit himself against it. 

Unknowingly, lured in by the irresistible scent of cologne and his curiosity for touch, he leaned his head down and brought his face close to Kenobi’s, pressed cheek to cheek, feeling the welcome coarseness of his beard against his bare skin, taking in the scent of him, all with his eyes still closed, not bothering to process just what he was doing. 

They carried on like this, both of them unwilling to break the silence between them or to step back to a more appropriate distance. It felt like they weren’t dancing at all, Anakin could not even hear the music or feel the strain of his legs, there was just this proximity between them. They were simply touching each other, mingling together. 

But of course it had to come to an end. Kenobi let go of his hand and withdrew his arm from his shoulder, taking a step back. “I told you, didn’t I? I would leave you wanting more,” he said, eyes burning into him as he lifted his head, staring down at him. “And I did.”

Anakin, caught in that heated gaze, was too flustered to reply, he felt as if he was in a haze, drunk off of the presence of this infuriatingly arrogant and beautiful man, intoxicated by him. How was he supposed to maintain a cool head around him? Especially now, after what they had done, knowing of the scheme that had caught them both in its web, knowing of the ambush that was still about to happen. 

“Come along, Anakin, it’s time that we leave,” he said, hand on Anakin's waist as he pushed them through the ballroom to the foyer and out of the building, never once removing his hand from his body. 

Kenobi came to a halt in front of the entrance, right at the stairs, and took his phone out out of his breast pocket. “Ahsoka,” he said after waiting a few moments for her to pick up his phone call. 

Curious, Anakin turned to him and watched as Kenobi moved away from him, standing a few feet away from him as he spoke in hushed tones, so low that Anakin didn’t hear anything. He gave a resigned sigh and grabbed the back of his neck, slowly massaging his stiff muscles. If they could just stop keeping these secrets from him, he would be such a happy man. Not that he deserved their trust, he didn’t at all. Even after months at their side, they knew to be careful around him, he was still a newbie after all. Throwing his head back, he looked up at the dark sky, looking out for the few visible stars.

Just as he took a step down the stairs, a loud bang tore through the night and Anakin whipped his head to the side, eyes immediately searching for Kenobi, and found him whole and safe. When he moved to approach the man, a second shot went off, almost grazing his shoulder as the bullet flew past him. Anakin turned around and stared into the distance, confused and shocked at the aim. What he failed to notice as he searched for the source of the attack, what completely left his mind was Kenobi. 

He noticed him when it was already too late, he noticed him only when the third shot had already been fired, only as Kenobi had already thrown himself in front of him, taking the bullet that had been meant for Anakin, did he see him again. The bullet that Maul had aimed not at Kenobi but at him.

But  _ why? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually debated including a scene where Anakin edges himself, but I just couldn't bring myself to delete it, so it stayed lol


	4. Adrift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exam season is killing me, it's bad. 
> 
> Anyway, have fun and tell me how it was :)

There was utter chaos all around him and now that the initial shock and fear had passed, people surrounded him on all sides. Vultures, swarming around him, curious and hungry to see more, but Anakin refused to let them come even closer. Still, as much as he tried to keep the crowd away, he was only one man against many, he was doomed to fail, even if Kenobi deserved better than to be made a spectacle, any more than he had already become after he had jumped to his rescue. Now Kenobi was paying the price for it, taken down to the ground and fighting to stay conscious, to stay alive as blood was continuously flowing out of the wound on his abdomen, seeping into his clothes and spreading down to the white flagstones on the ground until Anakin stood in the pool of his blood. The blood that should have been his and not Kenobi’s.

No matter how much he pressed his hands against the wound, the blood flow could not be stopped, his hands were utterly drenched in it. Nothing worked and the ambulance had still not arrived. How long had it been since the shot? How long would they have to wait? How long could Kenobi survive this with only Anakin’s useless, weak hands to help? There couldn't be much time left. 

“Anakin,” Kenobi gasped out, face dazed as he turned his head left and right, stopping once he had found his eyes. “Anakin,” he repeated, raising his arm to palm his face.

Anakin immediately grabbed his hand and lowered it back to the ground. “Stay still, don’t use up your left strength for this, just try to stay awake. Just stay with me, okay?” he said urgently, but his own fear made his words come out crippled, weak and not at all as strong and encouraging as he had intended them to be. 

Kenobi nodded and turned his gaze to the sky, face twisted to a grimace at the pain he was under. He became more and more distressed, his eyes lost focus, growing blank and disoriented. “I should have found you sooner,” he said, voice barely above a whisper, “but I failed you, I failed him.” Then his eyes fell shut. 

Anakin began to curse and grabbed Kenobi’s face with one hand, trying but failing to provoke a reaction out of him. He was completely unresponsive, fallen over the edge of consciousness at last. After laying his head back, Anakin checked his pulse, felt how fast and erratic it was, and listened to his breathing, hoping and praying that it never stopped. Kenobi could not die like this, not for him, his death would be too soon and Anakin would lose all hope, all his efforts would have gone to waste, it just couldn't happen.

"Obi-Wan!" someone called out and as Anakin raised his head, he saw Ahsoka run over to them. When she reached them, she crouched down and looked at him, distressed, but also incredibly angry. "How could you let this happen? Why didn't you do something?"

"He threw himself in front of me, there was nothing I could do," Anakin bit back. "He did this to himself."

Ahsoka glared at him, at his callous words, but he didn't give a damn, he was the one taking care of Kenobi's wound, not her. "He did this for you," she hissed at him.

“Yes and it was his choice.”

Ahsoka stood up suddenly, fast and sharp, and gave him one final scornful glare before turning around and running to the surrounding forest.

"Where do you think you're going?" he screamed after her. "Stay here! You won't find whoever did this!"

But Ahsoka ignored him and disappeared into the trees, leaving him alone once again. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility of her meeting Maul, of all the things that could happen and now that he stood at such uncertain ground with his boss, he could not be sure that Maul wouldn’t rat him out, he was volatile like that, so much that Anakin hadn’t been shocked at all today, only confused and outraged. Anakin knew that if he were to be the person to hunt him down now, that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back from doing something that he would only end up regretting, something that would only jeopardize what little chance he still had to see his mother again. 

He heard the sirens before he saw the ambulance arrive, but he felt no relief, only apprehension. Apprehension and uncertainty and the only way he knew how to deal with them, with the aftermath of another one of Maul’s outbursts was to cling to whatever anger he could surge out of himself. 

* * *

  
  


The air was stale in the cold room, white light shone from above. There was so much of it in this room, it was white upon white, the walls, the ground, the cabinets, the bed, everywhere he looked he saw nothing but white and its brightness was blinding to his tired eyes, brutal and sterile. There were no sounds either, just the  _ drip drop _ of the infusion and laboured breathing, it was unbearingly silent

Kenobi lied in the midst of this bleak picture, weakened and in pain despite the strong analgesics he had been given an hour ago. But at least he was conscious and responsive now, if a little disoriented and confused due to the narcotics still swimming in his system. The white light only worked to expose Kenobi’s exhaustion, his skin paler, less vital under it. He seemed to be drained of his usual strength, it was hard to look at, hard to take in and it was already so difficult for Anakin to remain in here at this hospital without losing the last shred of his composure. 

“Anakin, could you please give me a glass of water?” Kenobi said, words coming out as a croak. 

Anakin hurried to fulfill his request, thankful for the chance to do something useful for once. He held the glass at Kenobi’s mouth, giving him only a small amount of water, he was not in the mood to clean off vomit. Kenobi gulped down whatever he gave him, licking off every drop on his dry lips. 

“How do you feel?” Anakin asked and sat down next to him on the bed, hand resting on the other side of his body. 

“As if my body was wrecked by a train,” Kenobi bit out, hissing as he tried to sit up, but Anakin quickly pushed him back and simply moved the backrest of the bed up instead. “At least I have a new scar to add to my collection.”

“A very impressive collection, indeed,” Anakin muttered under his breath, thinking back to the ones littering his back, crisscrossing multiple times. “Will you ever tell me how you got them?”

“Maybe,” he said with a dismissive tone and laid his hand against his chest as he started to cough. “Oh god, how I hate this, I want to get out of here as soon as possible.”

“Well, I think you’ll need to wait a few days, a shot to one’s stomach is not something one can simply brush off.”

“We’ll see about that,” Kenobi whispered, brows furrowed as he stared up at the ceiling with a spiteful expression on his face. 

“You won’t wait for the doctor’s recommendation, will you? You want to check yourself out of this hospital.” Anakin shook his head and stood up from the bed. He walked to the window, but it offered him no sight of interest, it was just building upon building and the station was not high enough to have a clear view of the sky, so Anakin turned back to him, leaning back on the windowsill. 

Kenobi didn’t answer, he just kept on staring at nothing at all, deeply lost in his thoughts and Anakin watched him from his position, hands still on the windowsill as he unwittingly moved closer to him, he felt as if he could look into his mind, tear layer after layer to reveal what was inside, if only he got close enough, as close as was possible, maybe even beyond that and finally understand just why this man had risked it all just for him, when he was nothing but a young man he had taken in and kept on the sidelines of his life, only ever allowed to partake in his private life and never really go beyond that wall that separated him from what was behind this facade. Although Anakin had approached him with the intent to rise in the ranks of his organisation, he had become something else, something unnamed and entirely ambiguous. 

Why had Kenobi accepted him so willingly? Why did he always treat him with such unearned kindness? Just why? What could Kenobi possibly get out of this? Did he want some toy to play with? But he had never treated Anakin with disrespect, he had never humiliated him. Did Kenobi just seek his company? It seemed too improbable to be true, too naive to believe in, there had to be something else, a reason that explained it all, but how was he supposed to find it out? Kenobi knew how to keep his intentions hidden, how to speak about the most private aspects of his life without revealing enough information for Anakin to finally finish the puzzle that was Kenobi. It was infuriating, it made his blood boil, but it was also exciting, this almost desperate need to know more, this consuming curiosity, it felt so intense, it destroyed any of the numbness that plagued and pulled him out of his life and into a space where he saw nothing, heard nothing, where he was lost, just drifting from one day to the other. But not anymore it seemed, Kenobi centered him in the present, Anakin had no other choice, not when every little mistake could expose him. 

“You should do as the doctor says. You underwent a complicated surgery, the risk of infection is too high for you to leave earlier than recommended. So just endure this and stay here,” Anakin explained, forgoing his position at the window to stand at the head end of the bed. He hesitated a moment and cautiously brought his hand to Kenobi’s forehead, brushing back his fine hair. “Please.”

“Fine, I’ll do you this favor, but only if you keep me company, otherwise I won’t die from peritonitis, but from boredom,” Kenobi conceded. 

“Where else would I be? It’s not like there is much else to my life than you, you have taken over me, thoroughly and completely, but that’s what you meant, right? When you said to me  _ death alone or life with you, _ you meant this.”

Kenobi began to smile up at him, eyes bright with mirth as the crow’s feet around his eyes became more pronounced. “You are right where you are supposed to be, where you belong.”

“If you say so,” Anakin whispered, eyes averted and skin aflame. “If you really want me to stay, sleep some more and get your needed rest, I’ll be right over there,” he said as he pointed at the chair at the far corner of the room. 

Kenobi nodded and closed his eyes. Soon his breathing evened out and the strained tension in muscles gave way to relaxation. Sleep claimed him readily, but Anakin was afforded no such kindness, his mind too active, his body too tensed for any form of rest. Not even half an hour later, Anakin was granted a reason to be grateful for his sleeplessness. 

The door was opened, so silently and slowly that whoever stood behind the door did not want to be noticed. Anakin stood up from his seat and moved just as silently, standing just behind the exit, body hidden by the opened door. He edged closer to the door frame, keeping himself pressed tightly to the wall behind and allowing himself to breathe only shallowly. 

A woman stepped forward, letting the door fall shut behind her as she turned around to him. She smiled at him, eyes condescending as she looked him up and down, and raised her hand to her mouth, gliding her sharp and long fingernail across her lower lip as she stared at him with nothing but barely concealed contempt. 

“You are the woman Kenobi danced with,” Anakin said and pushed himself off the wall, stepping closer to her so that they stood in arm’s reach.

“So you do have eyes,” she said, voice cold and low. “Do me a favor, boy, and leave me alone with him.”

“No,” he answered back with a scowl. “He has just fallen asleep, you have no right to disturb him. If you need to talk to him, do so tomorrow at an appropriate hour.”

She cut short whatever distance had been between them and grabbed at his neck, burying her fingernails into his skin. “I will let this one slide, since you have no idea who I am, but if you dare to speak to me like that ever again, there will be consequences and not even Kenobi will be able to protect his precious boytoy then, do you understand?” she hissed.

Anakin narrowed his eyes at her and took her arm into a tight grip, forcing her hand away from him. “Don’t touch me.”

She snorted and turned her back to him, moving to the foot of the bed. “Leave, boy!”

He stood still and glared at her, he wasn’t going to follow her orders like some kicked puppy.

“Do as she says, Anakin,” came the quiet voice from Kenobi. “I believe I have a few things I need to discuss with her on my own, please understand.”

With a curt nod, Anakin bit back the angry retort sitting on the tip of his tongue and turned around, leaving the room as quickly as possible before he did something foolish. 

While he was quietly seething in his anger after having been send out the room like some unruly child too young to listen to adult conversation, who knew what was going down in that room. That woman could not be trusted and Anakin knew for certain that she was not a part of Kenobi’s group, but she was certainly no civilian either, not when she behaved like that. So who was she and what was her connection to Kenobi? He liked her well enough to want to be alone with her, even when he was nothing but a defenceless and wounded man, there had to be a certain amount of trust to allow for that. 

And now Anakin was the unwelcome guest, listening in from the outside, not that he was able to even make out one word as hushed as they had be to speaking, probably knowing that he was right at the other side of the door. The time ticked by and Anakin grew bored of playing the peeping tom, he began to pace around in the corridor, walking up and down with no end in sight to the torment of waiting. He tried to keep his eyes off the other doors that he passed by, he tried not to think of the other patients, he only dared to stare down at the ground beneath, afraid of the images that would come to his mind, were he to look at something else. He decided to walk to the large window at the other end of the corridor and gazed out to the city, now drowning under a heavy rainfall. 

The loud  _ click clack _ of high heels against the even ground of the station echoed through the corridor and alerted him to the presence of that cursed woman. He turned around and saw her standing still right at the exit, hand already on the metal handle as she looked back at him. She clicked her tongue and narrowed her eyes at him. “I think I don’t trust you at all with him. I will be watching you,” she said, tilting her head up slightly before she opened the door and vanished from his sight. 

Great, now he had something else to worry about, not that his problems were few to begin with. 

* * *

  
  


In the end, Kenobi had proven his words to follow the doctor’s instructions to be nothing but appeasements meant to get Anakin off his back. Not only did he leave the hospital two days too early, he was also already eating meals that his still wounded stomach was barely able to digest and drinking his usual liquor and moving about as if nothing had happened to him at all. He was just a complete nightmare as a patient and Anakin was the only one dealing with the fallouts of his reckless behaviour. 

That’s right, there was only him. He was the only one taking care of Kenobi, because Ahsoka still hadn't shown up. The last thing he had seen of her had been her back as she had been running after Maul and the only reason he knew that she was still alive was because she had called Kenobi on the day of his discharge and even that had been more than a week ago, who knew if she was still alive and whenever he asked about her, Kenobi just brushed him off and changed the subject without even bothering to be subtle about it. So Anakin knew nothing, he knew nothing at all, as was usual. He was just kept out of whatever was going on, deregulated to playing Kenobi’s nurse. 

Anakin was the one dressing Kenobi’s wound day after day, he was the one cleaning his apartment, he was the one cooking their meals, he was the one who went out and bought Kenobi whatever he needed, and Anakin could have never imagined that he would end up like this, not in a million years. This was so far removed from what he had expected the first time Maul had told him of his plan to infiltrate Kenobi’s group, it felt like a bad joke, like he had already lost before he even had the chance to make his first move. Worst of all, he felt deserted, left behind now that he had been deemed useless, discarded like the many men who had fallen to their death after they had done their part and Maul had had no use of them any longer. 

Deep in his mind, thoughts of uncertainty resided, thoughts of longing for the comfort he had last received years ago and for the presence of a man who had left him in the hands of his enemies, without offering him any defences, any help. Those thoughts were no longer hidden deep in the recesses of his minds, no, slowly but surely they grew stronger, strong enough to drift up and reach the very surface of his mind, always present, always demanding attention when he wanted nothing else but to ignore it. His only way to denial was through spite, it was the only emotion strong enough to drive off his childish desires. Desires that were simply residuals of a time long gone by, a time where Maul had still bothered to spend time with him, where he had still possessed the capacity to be gentle, kind almost, just those rare moments, they pulled at him and refused to let go of him even after he had been the one to be abandoned first. 

Now all that Anakin had in his life, the only person who knew him, who saw him as someone worthy of kindness was Kenobi. He was the only one, just him with his unnerving perceptiveness, with his uncalled-for warmth and with his never wavering interest in him. Even now, as he was talking on the phone, giving order after order, losing himself to his anger, as rare as that was, even now, his eyes were on nothing but Anakin, watching him, taking him in at all moments. Such undivided attention for someone like him, an imposter, an intruder, how long would Anakin be able withstand it without falling to his knees and confessing all his sins, without seeking redemption for fooling such a generous man? How could he ever rid himself of this guilt?

So lost was he to his worries, standing at the kitchen counter, that he, without thinking, without noticing, grabbed the metal handle of the teapot as the shrill sound of the boiling water tore through his subconscious. He let go the moment the heat registered to him, rising up his spine as a hot pain, sharp and edged, and as the teapot fell out of his hold, droplets of the boiling water fell on the back of his hand. Cursing, he quickly went to the sink and let water cool his wounds, the following relief made him sigh, but it was a brief relief, extinguished by the return of sensation to his skin. He bit his lips and turned the water colder, hoping for the pain to vanish once again, but it persisted, growing stronger by the second. This pain was so hard to endure, he could not rub his skin against the ache, he could not keep still to spare the wound, there was nothing to help soothe the pain. 

“Anakin!” Kenobi called out from the living room, leaning on the backrest of the couch as he slowly stood up. 

“Nothing happened,” Anakin grit out through lips, pressed tightly together, taking his wrist into a tight grip, so tight that he was almost cutting off the circulation to his hand, he just needed to feel something else, something stronger to distract from the burning pain. “Forget about this, tell me who you were talking with, you sounded more than displeased.”

Kenobi rushed over to him, hand on his stomach as he tried to walk without aggravating his own wound. The moment he reached him, he grabbed Anakin’s hand that was wrapped around his wrist and loosened Anakin’s hold on it, turning his wounded hand around to look at his various injuries. 

"It's not even turning white, it's just red, this is nothing but some light burning," he assuaged with a weak smile, but Kenobi simply ignored him and went into the bathroom, returning with wound disinfectant and bandages. "That's really not necessary," he said, but his words fell on deaf ears.

After they cooled his hand for awhile, Kenobi did a quick job of treating his injuries and wrapped the bandages around his hand, ordering him to sit down with him at the couch. 

Kenobi chose to stand instead and stared down at him from above, arms crossed as he stroked his beard. He let his arms fall and gave a short sigh. “I was talking with Ahsoka.”

Anakin sat upright and leaned forward, holding his injured hand. “Ahsoka?” he repeated, his voice loud and more than confused. “Is everything alright with her?”

With a nod, Kenobi walked around the table and finally sat down next to him. “She has important news for us.”

“What did she find out?” he asked carefully, focusing solely on Kenobi’s face to try and tell whether or not he was in trouble. 

“She didn’t want to say it over the phone, she’ll be here in a few minutes,” Kenobi replied. “I do not know where she got her dramatic side from.”

Anakin cast his face down and stared at his heated and pained hand, too nervous to engage with him, despite the very obvious bait. Weeks had passed since he had last seen her. Was she still angry at him? Did she still blame him for what happened? And once she arrived, would she look at him again with that same expression, full of rage and bitter disappointment? He let go of his hand and ran his fingers through his hair, stopping at his neckline, and messaged the stiff muscles at the back of his neck. “Is she-” he began, but thought better of it, he didn’t want to come off as immature and he wasn’t so sure that he wanted to hear the answer anyway. 

Kenobi cocked his head to the side, brows furrowed as he leaned towards him, but, fortunately, he didn’t press him on it, which would have been pretty much useless anyway, since Ahsoka herself stormed inside not a minute later, throwing her jacket to the ground as she strode over to them, her gait so sharp and fast that the curtains at the window followed her as she passed by. 

But when he dared to shift his eyes away from the outline of Ahsoka, from her shadow to her face, he was surprised to find a triumphant smile on her lips. “I got him,” she exclaimed, jumping over the armrest and onto the sofa. 

Anakin grew stiff and felt his eyes widen. He dropped his gaze and looked to the side, before he got control of himself again and schooled his face back into an acceptable expression, one of curiosity and confusion or at least something close to it. 

“Elaborate,” Kenobi demanded, leaning back against the couch and draping his arm over the backrest as he stared at her, head tilted to the side. 

“I drove him out of this city, I forced him to retreat with everything he has, he won’t be able to show his face again, at least not until he has recovered,” she answered, smile broadening into a face-splitting grin. 

“Recover from what exactly?” Anakin asked, chest suddenly tight. The painful sting of his burnt skin felt more profound, more distinct as he waited for her to answer. The few seconds of silence became dragged, stretched thin until Anakin was overcome with a sense of vertigo pooling low in his stomach. Maybe he had been too quick, too caught up in his own anger, when he had judged Maul’s continued absence from his life, what if Maul just never had the chance to contact him, what if he had simply refrained from it to protect Anakin’s cover? Still, just a message, one single message could have spared him weeks of second guessing everything, of wondering about his future and despairing for the state of his life. He would have never lost all hope of ever seeing his mother again. But Maul had still shot at him without even a moment’s hesitation, without any remorse, Maul shouldn't get away with that, he should not get out of this battle unsacthed. 

“I have been tracking him for the last few weeks and found one hideout after the other and I destroyed them one by one. I left him with no other option than to run out of this city, with his tail between his legs,” Ahsoka said, arms resting on her widespread legs as she leaned forward. “I saw him when I was running after him, after he had dared to hurt Obi-Wan, I looked him right in the face and then I knew who he was. After that, the rest came easy to me. Maul shares a long history with our dear boss, the time has come for him to pay for his crimes against our family, don’t you think so?”

“What exactly did you do to him?” Anakin asked, hands clenched into fists, pulling his wounds taut. 

“Besides beating him at his own game, I managed to hit him, but I’m pretty sure it was no killing shot. I wouldn’t want to take that honor away from Obi-Wan anyway.”

“Honor? Oh, please,” Kenobi snorted and stood up from the couch, moving to the window to his right, back turned to them as he gazed out, warm and bright sunlight shone through and illuminated his outline, leaving the rest to the dark. He turned around and faced them again. “Maul is someone hung up on the past, he is unable to move on, killing him will bring me no joy, his death is long overdue, he is nothing but a ghost clinging to a life long gone by. Killing him won’t be honourable, it will be merciful,” he said, voice derisive and yet monotone somehow. 

Ahsoka stood up as well and joined Kenobi at the window, laying her hand on his shoulder before she began to speak, voice low and gentle. “We’ll have to find him again, he escaped to god knows where. If you want to grant him that mercy you spoke of, we should move fast and keep him from putting any more distance between us. Don’t give him another chance to assemble any form of power, the time to deal the finishing blow has come.”

“It’s just that he has the very  _ admirable  _ ability to survive the ‘finishing blow’. No matter how many times you step on the cockroach, it still manages to crawl away from beneath your feet, it knows only how to survive and come back more resilient than before,” Kenobi said, not looking at either Ahsoka or him, he was just staring off into the distance, seeing things not present, reliving his memories, Anakin recognized it in his expression. They shared so much history and Anakin had only ever seen the scars on both of their bodies, only the aftermath of their clashes. 

“This time, you won’t go against him on your own, you have me on your side… and him,” she declared, hand still on Kenobi’s shoulder. When Anakin didn’t react to her words, overwhelmed by the revelations, she turned to him, her eyes focusing in on him. “You!” she said. “Do you want to be useful? Do you want to make up for failing him, us? Well, now you have the chance to. Take Maul down with me.”

_ She was still a teenager, _ Anakin forcefully reminded himself, jaw tense as he narrowed his eyes at her. 

“Oh, he was more than useful to me, I never had such an attentive caretaker, you should have seen him, he was more than competent. And what happened, happened because of my choices and I do not regret them, so you don’t have to either.” Kenobi grabbed her hand, patting it lightly before he gently removed it and approached Anakin. He buried his hands in Anakin’s hair and ran his fingers through his locks. Anakin couldn’t help but close his eyes for a moment, enjoying the strange but calming sensation at his scalp. “There are no reasons for any bad blood between the three of us, don’t you agree?”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes at them. “You can really tone it down when I’m with you, you know.”

Kenobi simply smiled at her, his hand was still stroking his hair. “You should have seen us these past weeks.”

Anakin remained silent as they kept on bickering with each other, catching up on the time spent apart. He knew he should be concentrating on their conversation to get as much information out of them as possible, but he had found himself in such a weird place and it made him miserable, not knowing what the hell he was doing here, why was he still playing this game? The only thing that mattered was his mother and the only way to her was through Maul, but Maul had removed himself out of the equation and now Anakin was stuck at an impasse. He had run straight into a blind alley with the promise of finally reaching the highway out of this wretched city spurring him on. 

Had he truly been so blind? Only blindness could explain his willingness to run straight into the wall that kept him from his mother, only blindness could explain his willingness to take Maul by his word. He had to take matters into his own hands, there was no use in waiting for a man as unreliable as Maul, he had to be the one to make the first move. 

* * *

  
  


Friday had rolled on and the time to execute his plan - if it even could be called that - had come. It was a decision made in the spur of the moment and he had quickly taken the first steps, taking away the possibility of a retreat. He had actually simply asked Kenobi for permission to spend the weekend on his own, which Kenobi had allowed gladly, without asking any questions, but that only meant that Anakin had to be even more careful.

And now, after countless and trying detours throughout the city, he had finally crossed its border into the surrounding town, the road to his destination came to him without any effort, it was a stark memory, no matter how contrived the way was, despite the fact that his last visit had taken place several years ago. 

The studio made a stark difference to its surroundings, a small, inconspicuous and grey block of concrete encased and hidden by trees, their leaves a dark green now that spring had taken over fully. Anakin passed the row at the front of the studio and felt rays of the setting sun fall on his face, offering him a little warmth when he had been nothing but cold, sweating and shivering. This place had always meant bad news, every memory of it was drenched with despair, it was a last resort, a refuge for the roughest times, whenever they were short on money, whenever they were being chased down by too many to count, whenever the backlash of Maul’s affinity for chaos had inevitably become too severe to face it, they had come here. 

When Anakin stepped forward and reached the entrance, he took a deep breath, so deep that he was intimately aware of the way his chest expanded as the air rushed into his lungs, cold and fresh, only to leave his body warm and damp, taking with it the little warmth he had possessed. He shook his arms before he raised his hand and knocked against the door, once, twice and then the door was opened with one swift and forceful swing. 

Eyes fixed on the ground, Anakin stepped inside, refusing to lift his gaze and look the man in the eye, just the sight of him would surely make him nauseous and rob him of his bravado, so he walked deeper into the open space of the studio and although it was just one big room, he felt the walls enclose around him as he waited for Maul to say something, but nothing came, it seemed that he was still determined to keep his silence. It forced Anakin to turn around and face him. Maul had lost weight, just enough for it to be noticable, and a white bandage at his right shoulder was peeking out of his collar. He stood tense, his limbs jittery, and his eyes bore into Anakin, unashamed and without any remorse.

“You tell me to save him, but then you make him save me. You tell me to take a bullet for him and I accept it without any backtalk, but then you turn around and do the opposite. You tell me that I will see my mother again, but then you disappear,” Anakin said, starting off with a normal voice only for it to dissolve into a shout, so loud and vicious that it tore into his throat, cutting into his flesh and leaving him burning. “Half a year has passed, six long months you have kept me from my mother. Why haven’t I still seen her?  _ Why?” _

Anakin strode towards Maul and packed him by the collar and shoved him against the nearest wall. “Answer me!”

Maul flared his nose at him, brows drawn tightly together and mouth twisted to an ugly sneer, his face had turned into a scornful grimace, but it all left Anakin feeling cold, he was not intimidated, he was only angry and rightfully so, he deserved to know, after all these months of working for him day in and day out, after years of servitude, why he was being punished. 

“Get your hands off me first,” Maul hissed, baring his teeth at him. “You will regret this.” 

“Fine!” Anakin let go of him at once and stepped to the side, allowing Maul to pass by and as he did so he made sure to ram his shoulder into him. Closing his eyes, Anakin took a deep breath and breathed it out through his nose, so goddamn  _ petty. _

“I have bad news for you,” Maul said suddenly, his face grief stricken. “Your mother, she suffered complications, severe ones.”

“No,” Anakin gasped out, clutching at his heart as fell back, stumbling to the wall he had pressed Maul against. “No, no, no. Why are lying to me?”

“If only, my boy, but it’s true,” he whispered, soft and gentle, but his words cut deep,  _ so so deep. _ He raised his hand and palmed Anakin’s face, rubbing his thumb against his cheek in a mockery of comfort, but his touch felt cold and rough, no matter how hard Maul tried to be gentle, it was just beyond him. 

His body began to rock back and forth and his limbs fell, limp and paralyzed, he felt so weak so suddenly. Why? How? This.. no, it just couldn't be, just no… Anakin shook his head and drew away from Maul’s hand, but he grabbed his chin and forced him to look him in the face, fingers digging into his skin. His eyes filled with tears as he stared at Maul and saw nothing but that cold, curious face again, he wanted to shut his eyes and rid himself of this unbearable sight, but he couldn't’, he was just struck defenceless. The silent tears slid down his face and Maul wiped away each one of them. 

“Remember this feeling well, my boy,” he said, leaning close to whisper into his ear. “Remember this pain, this helplessness. Remember your despair.”

“What?” he breathed out, so gone by now that he was barely able to comprehend Maul’s words. 

“Remember it all, when you return to Kenobi, when you return to his side, let it be a reminder of the power I hold over you, of your life debt, don’t allow yourself to forget it for even a second, you can’t afford to, your mother won’t survive it.”

“My mother?” he asked, face contorting into a grimace of pain. 

“She didn’t die, Anakin, and as long as I pay for her care, she won’t. No one else would be willing to do what I’m doing, don’t forget that! They would have stopped this madness years ago, but you begged me for help and I just couldn’t refuse you. She lives only because of me and she will die, only if you rebel against me, do you understand?” 

Anakin tried to turn his face away from him, fletching his teeth as he pushed against his hand, but Maul didn’t relent and pressed his head further against the wall. He let go of his head and packed him by the shoulders, shaking him as he yelled: “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” he bit out, just to make Maul stop hurling his body around. The moment he was free from his hold, Anakin slid down the wall and landed on the ground, head averted as he stared at his own hands and feet, why did he let this happen? He had killed men far stronger than Maul with his bare hands, why couldn’t he even use them to free himself? But the answer was so obvious, so plainly visible, he would endure anything to keep his mother. “Why are you so cruel to me? Why do you ignore me and then punish me for seeking you out? I didn’t even disobey you! You had no right to make me believe my mother died, you know what she means to me, how could you do this? I have worked under you for years, you know my everything, do you truly care so little for me, do you only see Kenobi and nothing else?”

“Since we’ve been side by side for years, you should know the answer by now. Only after I have taken my revenge, will I be able to live my life, this is my only path. You have to understand that I can only give you this much, only what is left of me, don’t fault me for what I can’t change.” Maul crouched down to him and nuzzled his hair.

Anakin could only scowl at him, he was so sick of his excuses. How many times had he heard this same story? It meant nothing in the end, it was as truthful as Maul could be, he truly never changed, he never gave more than he claimed to be able to, it was coincidently always only enough for Anakin to survive. “Just let me see her, that’s all I want,” he whispered, angry and hurt. 

“I’ll take you to her, but I did not lie when I said that she suffered complications, I simply exaggerated the outcome,” Maul said as he stood up and held out his hand. Anakin slapped it away and picked himself up on his own. 

“What happened?” he asked.

“You will see it soon enough.”

* * *

  
  


The forest was as dense and dark as Anakin had always remembered it to be. The narrow and straight trees around him rose into the sky, stretching on for what looked like miles. He touched their bark as he strode through the thicket, it was a pale brown and smooth to the touch. Minutes passed as he explored the nature around him and soon he arrived at the wide clearing. The cottage stood in its midst, small and entirely made out of wood.

Anakin approached it slowly and waited at the entrance, hand already at the door handle. He pushed it down and opened the door, as careful and silent as he could manage. He quickly removed his jacket and folded it before he put it down on the cabinet. A white note lied next to it and he lifted it, reading it over once and discarding it right after. So the nurse was already gone, thankfully. With a sigh, he went into the bathroom and prepared a wash bowl, filling it with lukewarm water and soap. He also took two towels with him and finally walked into the bedroom at the other end of the cottage. 

The room was warm, comfortably so, and the air was fresh and smelled of pine and damp earth, it must have been recently aired through. Anakin set aside the wash bowl and towels and approached the bed, walking to its head end.

His mother lied listless in it, under baby blue covers, thinner than he remembered her to be and more drained as well, her skin was pale, but at least it felt soft and vital and most importantly warm to the touch. Anakin raised his hand and gently brushed back her hair from her face, careful as to not touch the tube that connected her to her breathing machine at her bedside. Its incessant and low noise tugged at his ears, it was an artificial and ugly sound that disturbed the peace of the forest. 

Six months ago, the tube had not been there. Six months ago, she had been able to breathe on her own. Six months ago, she had been in a vegetative state, where he could have almost pretended that she was only sleeping, but now she had fallen deeper into her coma, now she needed machines to stay alive. Anakin turned his head to the side and moved his hand to his mouth, biting into it to keep back any sound that might have escaped him otherwise.  _ Oh god, _ he thought,  _ when did this happen? _

Anakin stood up from the bed to gather himself and moved to where he had put the wash bowl down and returned with it. He carefully undressed his mother from her gown and dipped the towel in the warm water so that he could begin to wash her. Every drag of the cloth was gentle, but also done with enough strength to clean her. He worked slowly and thoroughly, paying no mind to the time that went by. She deserved as much care as he could give, she deserved so much more than he could give. He was a failure as a son, but at least he could do this, at least he could take care of her as she had done when he had been young and small, when he had been just as dependent and unable as she was now. 

After he was done, he dried her skin with the second towel and cleaned up after himself. He left the room and drained the water down the sink in the bathroom, keeping his eyes averted the whole time to spare himself his own reflection. 

When Anakin walked out of the bathroom, he didn’t return to the bedroom, first he went into the living room. Its walls were lined with bookshelves, each level filled and staffed. He had bought each one of those books and had earned the money for it through Maul, assignment after assignment, kill after kill. He had tried everything to make a home out of this cottage.

Without really giving it any thought, he chose a book, drawn in by its colourful cover, and skipped through a few pages. Liking what he saw, he walked back into the bedroom to his mother, taking a chair out of the living room with him and setting it down next to her, and began to read to her with the same effort and enthusiasm she had given him before bedtime, those rare times where she had been at home and not at work. Every character, even the narrator had a distinct voice as he spoke, and every emotion, every sound, he acted it all out. It must have been lonely without him and dull, no one but him cared enough to entertain her, they didn’t see it as necessary, but Anakin knew that his mother was listening to him, that he was giving her comfort through his voice, his presence. He just knew it. 

Slowly, the room grew dark and cold, the sun was setting outside and Anakin stopped reading and shut the book close, putting it down at her bedside cabinet. He leaned back against the backrest of his chair and gazed out of the window, admiring the blue hour of sunset, the way it made something entirely different out of the trees, the brushes and the flowers. 

“Mum,” he breathed out, taking her hand into his and rubbing her palm with his thumb. “I’m so sorry, mum, that I couldn't be here, that I left you alone, but you must know that I left for you, for us and our future. You have to believe me. Everything I do, every moment of my life, it’s all for you, but I’m so lost, mum,  _ so so lost.” _ He paused and swallowed the lump in his throat. A weak smile settled on his lips “I’ve met someone, someone who is kind to me, someone who sees me. I think you would have liked him, maybe, if he wasn’t who he is, if he did something else for his living. Well, I’ve met him and I think about him all the time, but not the way I’m supposed to, not like Maul wants me to but I just can't bring myself to stop.”

Anakin raised her hand to his face and pressed it against his cheek, covering it with his own hand. He turned his head to it and kissed her wrist, eyes closed. “I think he is the only one beside you, who might care about me, who doesn’t just want to use me. He makes me feel wanted, every moment I’m with him, I know he wants me there, at his side.” He turned further into her hand, hiding his face. “But, mum, I will have to kill him too or Maul will take you from me forever. I can’t lose you, not even for him.”

  
  
  



End file.
